


Never Meant to Be, but Definitely Meant to Be

by dglrd



Series: kpop texting idiots [1]
Category: GOT7, NCT (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Artist Park Jinyoung | Jr., Cute Choi Youngjae, Cute Mark Tuan, Dancer Kim Yugyeom, Domestic Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung | Jr., Established Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam/Kim Yugyeom, Everyone Is Gay, Fencer Jackson Wang, Insecure Im Jaebum | JB, Jeon Jungkook & Kim Yugyeom Are Best Friends, Kim Namjoon | RM & Jackson Wang Are Best Friends, M/M, Mark Tuan is almost always asleep, Minor Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam/Jackson Wang, Model Kim Yugyeom, Shy Choi Youngjae, Shy Kim Yugyeom, Soft Im Jaebum | JB, Texting, Whiny Choi Youngjae, Writer Park Jinyoung | Jr.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-04-14 01:39:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 14,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14125323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dglrd/pseuds/dglrd
Summary: Yugyeom was never meant to be in the group chat, but he was definitely meant to be in the chat.Confusing?Basically, destiny had some fun in store for him, six other boys and all of their friends.a texting fic between got7, bts, seventeen and nct.





	1. I didn't sign up for this

_**user:bambam.kb (+82 9845 3279)** added **user:yu_gyeom (+82 5972 7669)** to group chat: **six goddamn idiots**._

**yu_gyeom:** okay not to be rude or anything but who are you and how did you get my number?

**bambam69:** okay not to be rude or anything but I’m gonna be rude anyway

**bambam69:** youngjae hyung you gave me your new number earlier…

**jbutt:** bam we talked about this earlier I already added him 

**jbutt:** who did you add then?

**bambam69:** idk 

**bambam69:** bro why don’t you introduce yourself?

**yu_gyeom:** i don’t even know any of you guys lmao why would i introduce myself to you guys

**bambam69:** shit he’s cute 

**bambam69:** oops wrong chat, i meant i’ll introduce myself first!

**jyp.jr:** kunpimook bhuwakul we know who you are

**bambam69:** but he doesn’t!

**jyp.jr:** he doesn’t need to know

**yu_gyeom:** actually i wouldn’t mind knowing who you guys are…

**bambam69:** okay, i’m kunpimook, but you could call me bambam! I was born in 97. Jaebum hyung and i are the only admins in this chat but i’m really close to being demoted

**yu_gyeom:**...

**yu_gyeom:** okay…

**bambam69:** introduce yourself hyung 

**jyp.jr:** i don’t want to 

**bambam69:** that’s jinyoung hyung, he’s born in 94 and he’s a bit of a grouch

**jyp.jr:** stfu

**bambam69:** moving on! there’s jaebum hyung, but we call him jaebutt for fun :P

**jbutt:** it’s only you that does that, bam

**bambam69:** hahaha okay then there’s youngjae hyung, jackson hyung and mark hyung. personally i think youngjae is the cutest ~~but you might change that ;)~~

**yu_gyeom:** ohh, his number is similar to mine...is that how i got here?

**jyp.jr:** kunpimook bhuwakul just has a shitty memory so he mistaked a 9 for an 8

**bambam69:** stfu!

**jyp.jr:** stop copying me, for fuck’s sake!

**bambam69:** stop copying me, for fuck’s sake!

**sunshine_jae:** hello i heard my name

**sunshine_jae:** hi, i’m youngjae! Not to be confused with jaebum hyung or jae from day6 but i guess you could call me jae...

**bambam69:** youngjae hyung is the moodmaker

**bambam69:** like you know those boogers that hold a magazine together? youngjae is the booger of our group

**sunshine_jae:** :)

**sunshine_jae:** wait did you compare me to a booger? that’s the most beautiful thing i ever heard  <3

**jwang:** yo i’m jackson i’m from hk i’m born in 94 and i still don’t understand why i call jaebum hyung in honorifics

**bambam69:** just accept it jaebum hyung will always be a hyung

**bambam69:** mark tuan hyung introduce yourself

**tuan_markeu:** hey i’m mark but you can call me mark i’m born in 93 and i’m the oldest here

**yu_gyeom:** bambam when’s your birthday?

**bambam69:** oh, he talks (and he’s goddamn adorable)

**bambam69:** oops wrong chat

**bambam69:** may 2nd

**yu_gyeom:** i’m the maknae??

**yu_gyeom:** what did i sign up for…

**bambam69:** he admits that he’s signed up for this. It’s set in stone

_**user:bambam.kb** changed the group name to: **seven goddamn idiots**_


	2. Gyeom is shooketh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gonna have to start putting the chat names at the beginning of every chapter to avoid confusion XD this is so fun

**seven goddamn idiots**

**yu_gyeom:** um so idk who you guys actually are…?

 **bambam69:** aww youngjae hyung it was funny at first but not anymore sweetie but we’ll laugh anyway

 **yu_gyeom:** no bambam it's me... yugyeom

 **bambam69:** right, hi gyeom! we’re just kids at hanlim

 **yu_gyeom:** holy shit no way...i’m there too, how come i never see you?

 **bambam69:** prolly cos we skipping classes all the time

 **jwang:** wait a sec...yugyeom your in the same mixed year math group as me, right?

 **bambam69:** wangy! Gyeom isn’t dumb!

 **jwang:** and i am?

 **yu_gyeom:** jackson hyung you’re not dumb

 **bambam69:** of course  <3 hanlim students are known to be shitty at math

 **jbutt:** bam i think it’s just this generation of kids

 **bambam69:** yeah, guess so...my friend jungkook can’t multiply or subtract and has a fear of numbers with more than three decimal places

 **yu_gyeom:** ah i know kookie

 **bambam69:** you do????

 **yu_gyeom:** yeah, he contacted me on instagram after he found my modelling/dancing account

 **jyp.jr:** spits out tea

 **bambam69:** wHAT YOU HAVE A MODELLING ACCOUNT LEMME SEE

 **yu_gyeom:** well, not exactly...it’s more of a little blog of my life that sometimes has videos of me dancing or modelling photos

 **bambam69:** what’s the account called?

 **yu_gyeom:** same as my text name

 **bambam69:** you hear that, youngjae?

 **sunshine_jae:** on it

 **jbutt:** you see, youngjae is a sweetheart and a ray of sunshine, but rays of sunshine can be stalkers too

 **yu_gyeom:** um...i made it private already :D

 **sunshine_jae:** too late. clicked follow already, will be sharing with everyone else 10/10 guarantee

 **yu_gyeom:** oh dear

 _ **user:yjchoi (+82 5972 7668)** changed his screen name to **user:sssnake_jae**_.

 **sssnake_jae:** :D

 **bambam69:** wait gyeom i’ll add you to the 97 line chat

 

**97s**

_**user:bambam.kb (+82 9845 3279)** added **user:yu_gyeom (+82 5972 7669)** to group chat: **97s**._

**kookie0901:** is that gyeom?

 **bambam69:** yeah. allow me to introduce you to everyone, gyeom

 **bambam69:** so of course you already know me and jungkook

 **kookie0901:** *jungkook and me

 **bambam69:** jungkook is a grammar nerd

 **yoonohwho:** who’s that

 **bambam69:** jaehyun/yoonoh, meet yugyeom. gyeom, meet jaehyun/yoonoh

 **yu_gyeom:** hi

 **yoonohwho:** sup

 **yu_gyeom:** why do you have two names?

 **yoonohwho:** my name was jung jaehyun but i changed it to jung yoonoh

 **yoonohwho:** but it doesn’t matter cos my stage name is jaehyun so you can call me either

 **yu_gyeom:** ohhh i see

 **bambam69:** kook where are the seventeen guys?

 **kookie0901:** they’re on the flight back from their bro trip in japan

 **bambam69:** okie

 **yu_gyeom:** there’s seventeen other guys??

 **bambam69:** no, there’s only 3 from 97 line, but there’s 13 guys in their friend group

 **bambam69:** 13 friends, go to three different schools but they’re one good group of friends

 **bambam69:** 13+3+1=16

 **kookie0901:** 13+3+1=17…

 **bambam69:** 0.7483

 **kookie0901:** oh shoot gotta zip

 **yu_gyeom:** what

 **bambam69:** i told you, he’s scared of numbers with more than three decimal places

 **bambam69:** even putting a decimal there is kinda pushing it

 **yu_gyeom:** okay…

 **yoonohwho:** look, gyeom

 **yoonohwho:** you’re gonna be here forever, might as well get used to it

 **yu_gyeom:** forever??

 **bambam69:** of course

 **bambam69:** i’m never letting you go, baby! i love you too much  <3

 **yu_gyeom:** umm...thanks? you too?

 

**assthetics (yugkook)**

**yu_gyeom:** what is this strange feeling

 **kookie0901:** ...


	3. It’s...Love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **yu_gyeom:** actually i wouldn’t be too surprised if he were aromantic
> 
>  **kookie0901:** he smells like vanilla cupcakes and chocolate pudding
> 
>  **yu_gyeom:** what
> 
>  **kookie0901:** what
> 
>  **yu_gyeom:** i don’t understand how one’s scent can tell me that he’s aromantic
> 
>  **kookie0901:** ohhh aromantic
> 
>  **yu_gyeom:** what did you think i said?!

**assthetics (yugkook)**

**yu_gyeom:** what is this odd feeling

 **kookie0901:** …

 **kookie0901:** you mean when BamBam said he loves you?

 **yu_gyeom:** yeah

 **kookie0901:** and then your heart kinda just fluttered a lot? and your stomach felt like it was floating?

 **yu_gyeom:** you felt it too?

 **kookie0901:** nah man, bambam and i are friends and only friends

 **kookie0901:** wait “too”?

 **yu_gyeom:** i said nothing

 **kookie0901:** yeah you did

 **kookie0901:** yOU LOVE BAMBAM

 **yu_gyeom:** i don’t

 **yu_gyeom:** he’s just a friend

 **kookie0901:** are you sure?

 **yu_gyeom:** yes

 **yu_gyeom:** actually i wouldn’t be too surprised if he were aromantic

 **kookie0901:** he smells like vanilla cupcakes and chocolate pudding

 **yu_gyeom:** what

 **kookie0901:** what

 **yu_gyeom:** i don’t understand how one’s scent can tell me that he’s aromantic

 **kookie0901:** ohhh aromantic

 **yu_gyeom:** what did you think i said?!

 **kookie0901:** aromatic

 **yu_gyeom:** smh

 **yu_gyeom:** besides, he probably doesn’t like me back

 **kookie0901:** like you back?? you sure you don’t like him?

 **yu_gyeom:** yeah

 **yu_gyeom:** no i’m not sure actually

 **yu_gyeom:** oh no

 **yu_gyeom:** he def. doesn’t like me back though

 **kookie0901:** we’ll see about that

 

**seven goddamn idiots**

**bambam69:** guys wanna meet after school today?

 **jbutt:** sure where

 **bambam69:** rooftop?

 **jbutt:** k cool

 **bambam69:** why are you texting in class

 **jbutt:** 1\. i have study period right now 2. i could ask you the same question, mr. bhuwakul

 **bambam69:** rooftop it is then

_30 minutes later…_

**yu_gyeom:** sorry for late reply; i was in phys

 **bambam69:** physical education?

 **yu_gyeom:** no physics class

 **bambam69:** you actually pay attention?

 **yu_gyeom:** how else will i pass?

 **bambam69:** aww so cute!!1!1!

 **bambam69:** are you gonna go to the roof with us?

 **yu_gyeom:** which roof?

 **bambam69:** you know that really popular bar in hongdae

 **yu_gyeom:** o yeah

 **bambam69:** not there, but the building next to it has a cool roof

 **yu_gyeom:** ohh i did some modelling near there

 **bambam69:** CHOI YOUNGJAE HYUNG GO GO GO

 **sssnake_jae:** GOT THE PIC

**sssnake_jae sent an[image](https://www.instagram.com/p/Bfiv6MMgYK1/?hl=en).**

**sssnake_jae:** that's the bathroom of the building, right? it's a hotel

 **bambam69:** SHIT HE’S SO CUTE

 **bambam69:** shit wrong chat, i mean nice photo gyeom

 **yu_gyeom:** thanks

 

**assthetics (yugkook)**

**yu_gyeom:** kOOK KOOK KOOK HELP ME

 **kookie0901:** what what’s wrong gyeom

 **kookie0901:** stay calm as much as you can, tell me what’s up

 **yu_gyeom:** it’s not okay

 **yu_gyeom:** i think i’m in love

 **kookie0901:** told you

 **yu_gyeom:** no like actually i really really like bambam

 **kookie0901:** then ask him out

 **yu_gyeom:** but he may not like me…

 **yu_gyeom:** besides, i can’t like boys…

 **kookie0901:** why not? namjoon hyung told me that it’s okay to love whoever you love

 **yu_gyeom:** you’re one to talk, mr. if-jimin-falls-in-love-with-me-i-have-to-reject-no-matter-how-much-i-want-him

 **kookie0901:** that’s only because i’m scared i’ll hurt this bean

 **kookie0901:** but seriously tho gyeom it’s okay to love bambam if you want to

 **yu_gyeom:** kook, you don’t get it… it’s not about whether _I_ like him

 **yu_gyeom:** it’s about the fact that my family are Christians…

 **yu_gyeom:** and being gay isn’t really that accepted


	4. See you later, maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **yu_gyeom:** bambam, can we go out together?
> 
>  **bambam69:** i thought that we were outside together earlier

**seven goddamn idiots**

**jbutt:** damn that was fun

 **yu_gyeom:** yeah thanks guys :) that was so much fun, would love to do it again

 **yu_gyeom:** especially watching a drunk bambam trying to climb down from a ladder

 **bambam69:** im not drunk

 **yu_gyeom:** ha yeah right bambam

 **jyp.jr:** no gyeom he’s actually serious

 **jyp.jr:** he wasn’t drunk at all. it was the way he climbed the ladder that was just so fucken hilarious and made him appear like a drunken old man.

 **yu_gyeom:** omg he’s adorable

 **sssnake_jae:** o__O

 **yu_gyeom:** sorry autocorrect, I meant laughable

_**user:yu_gyeom (+82 5972 7669)** left the group chat._

**sssnake_jae:** omg noooo did I say something mean that's not what was supposed to happen ;-;

_**user:bambam.kb (+82 9845 3279)** left the group chat._

**jyp.jr:** shit

 

**little shits (bamkook)**

**bambam69:** kookie kookie kookie

 **kookie0901:** bambam bambam bambam

 **bambam69:** can you come over to my house?

 **kookie0901:** sure, what’s up?

 **bambam69:** i’ll tell you later

 

_An hour later…_

**assthetics (yugkook)**

**kookie0901:** hey gyeom everything okay?

 **yu_gyeom:** yeah, i was just on a rooftop in gangnam modelling

 **kookie0901:** oh, i thought it was in hongdae

 **yu_gyeom:** no, i was there earlier with the guys

 **kookie0901:** gyeom, specifically i mean is everything okay with bambam

 **yu_gyeom:** yes

 **kookie0901:** are you sure?

 **yu_gyeom:** no

 **kookie0901:** what’s wrong? tell your daddy, it’s okay

 **kookie0901:** wait ignore that last sentence but what’s up?

 **yu_gyeom:** are we just gonna pass over the fact that you called yourself my daddy

 **kookie0901:** yes

 **yu_gyeom:** the way he climbed down the ladder was so fucken cute and i want to love him more but i can’t

 **kookie0901:** so you’re in love right?

 **yu_gyeom:** yeah but if i go out with him my parents will hate me forever

 **kookie0901:** Kim Yugyeom, listen to me. You are valid. Your sexuality is valid. You’re sweet as fuck (I don’t have a crush on you) and if your parents can’t accept you, they can fuck off. Excuse my language.

 **kookie0901:** now go and ask kunpimook out

 

**two out of seven goddamn idiots (yugbam)**

**bambam69:** youngjae hyung i have a serious predicament on my hands

 **bambam69:** i really really like gyeom but i think he's kinda scared to like me back? like, jungkook told me that he considered pulling away and he did because of something like religion?

 **bambam69:** but anyway im sad now because i love him so much but i don't wanna make him uncomfortable? do you kinda get my drift?

 **bambam69:** so yeah, hyung. what would you do in this situation?

 **yu_gyeom:** umm I hate to break it to you but wrong number? ...this is awkward

 **bambam69:** ah yes

 **bambam69:** oh shit

 **yu_gyeom:** well then

 **yu_gyeom:** i never thought you'd like me back

 **yu_gyeom:** but um since you said you did, and i like you too so there's no better time to do it than now

 **yu_gyeom:** oh this so crazy, i’ve only known you for a month or so

 **yu_gyeom:** but bambam

 **yu_gyeom:** can we

 **yu_gyeom:** oh gosh I don't wanna say it 

**yu_gyeom:** okay that came out wrong

 **yu_gyeom:** i meant like I'm too scared to say it

 **yu_gyeom:** you still there, bam?

 **bambam69:** yep

 **yu_gyeom:** alright then

 **yu_gyeom:** bambam, can we go out together?

 **bambam69:** i thought that we were outside together earlier

 **yu_gyeom:** no, i mean like can we be boyfriends?

 **bambam69:** sure, who is your date?

 **yu_gyeom:** lemme rephrase myself

 **yu_gyeom:** bam, will you be my boyfriend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CLIFFHANGERSSSS


	5. Chaos ensues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _**sssnake_jae** changed the group name to: **single pringles only including gyeom and bambam**_.
> 
>  **jwang:** ah, then mark and i shouldn’t be here :)
> 
>  **sssnake_jae:** well this is awkward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so much happens in this chapter 
> 
> basically gives a reason for why gyeom's mom doesn't notice the "i'm gyeom's boyfriend" stuff from bambam

**two out of seven goddamn idiots (yugbam)**

**yu_gyeom:** bam, will you be my boyfriend?

 **bambam69:** HOLY HOUSE OF TARGARYEN FIRST OF HER NAME UNBURNT QUEEN OF THE ANDALS RHOYNAR FIRST MEN QUEEN OF MEEREEN KHALEESI OF THE GREAT GRASS SEA PROTECTOR OF THE REALM LADY REGNANT OF SEVEN KINGDOMS BREAKER OF CHAINS MOTHER OF DRAGONS

 **bambam69:** sorry typo

 **bambam69:** but oh my gosh gyeomie

 **bambam69:** oh my this is sudden

 **yu_gyeom:** it’s really okay if you don’t wanna

 **bambam69:** are you kidding me? OF COURSE I WANT TO DATE YOU

 **yu_gyeom:** AHHH I LOVE YOU SM

 **bambam69:** I LOVE YOU SO MUCH TOO

 **yu_gyeom:** so it’s a yes then?

 **bambam69:** definitely

 **bambam69:** i proudly call you my boyfriend

 **yu_gyeom:** this sounds kinda weird but i’ve always kinda wanted to kiss your lips…?

 **bambam69:** come over to my house now :)

 **yu_gyeom:** are your parents home?

 **bambam69:** yeah, why?

 **yu_gyeom:** won’t they mind?

 **bambam69:** nah they found a pic of me kissing a guy on insta and they told me how proud they were

 **yu_gyeom:** you hundred percent sure?

 **bambam69:** of course. i just asked my mom and she said “okay, but you better kiss him well”

 **yu_gyeom:** omg your mom is the best

 **bambam69:** right??

 **yu_gyeom:** i’m coming over now

 

**seven goddamn idiots**

**jbutt:** neither of them are picking up their phones

 **jyp.jr:** it’s fine babe, they left the group for a reason, give them some time

 **tuan_markeu:** babe??

 **jbutt:** suddenly i have to leave

 **jyp.jr:** same here. wait for me, my beautiful boyfriend

_**user:jaebeom (+82 6935 4835)** left the group chat._

_**user:jyp.jr (+82 3902 3855)** left the group chat._

_**sssnake_jae** changed the group name to: **single pringles only including gyeom and bambam**_.

 **jwang:** ah, then mark and i shouldn’t be here :)

 **sssnake_jae:** well this is awkward am I the only single one here?

 **tuan_markeu:** i’m sorry sweetie

 **tuan_markeu:** besides, i thought you were all “omg woozi senpai liked my comment!!1!1!” on insta yesterday

 **sssnake_jae:** i think i may have called him jihoon senpai?

 **sssnake_jae:** oh wait yugyeom is calling

 **sssnake_jae:** bam and gyeom are dating??

 

**97ers**

**bambam69:** hey seokmin

 **bambam69:** hey mingyu

 **bambam69:** hey myungho

 **bambam69:** i realized i never introduced you to my wonderful and beautiful boyfriend yugyeom

 

**assthetics (yugkook)**

**kookie0901:** im proud of you gyeom

 **yu_gyeom:** im smiling so much right now

 **yu_gyeom:** like i love him so much

 **kookie0901:** you should be happy with yourself

 **kookie0901:** all the best to you guys

 **yu_gyeom:** you make us sound like we’re getting married

 **kookie0901:** <3

 **yu_gyeom:** <3

 

**97ers**

**yu_gyeom:** hey guys i’m yugyeom

 **mingh8o:** hi, im minghao but my korean name’s myungho so everyone calls me that

 **mingh8o:** im chinese

 **yu_gyeom:** i see nice to meet you hao

 **mingh8o:** no one calls me XD alrighty, that’s our thing then, yugz

 **yu_gyeom:** lmao same no one calls me yugz

 **dokyeom:** omg we have similar names

 **yu_gyeom:** omg

 **dokyeom:** NAME BUDDIES

 **yu_gyeom:** NAME BUDDIES

 **yu_gyeom:** JINX

 **dokyeom:** JINX

 **dokyeom:** omg XD

 **dokyeom:** but dokyeom’s just a nickname. my real name is seokmin

 **minggu:** ayo i’m mingyu but you can call me minggu or mingnine

 **yu_gyeom:** sup ming9

 **minggu:** that’s an awesome name

 _ **user:min9yu_k (+82 9344 5642)** changed his screen name to **user:min9**_.

 

**single pringles only including gyeom and bambam**

_**user:yjchoi (+82 5972 7668)** added **user:yu_gyeom (+82 5972 7669)** to group chat: **single pringles only including gyeom and bambam**._

__**user:yjchoi(+82 5972 7668)** added **user:bambam.kb (+82 9845 3279)** to group chat: **single pringles only including gyeom and bambam**._ _

___**user:yjchoi (+82 5972 7668)** added **user:jyp.jr (+82 3902 3855)** to group chat: **single pringles only including gyeom and bambam**._ _ _

____**user:yjchoi (+82 5972 7668)** added **user:jaebeom (+82 6935 4835)** to group chat: **single pringles only including gyeom and bambam**._ _ _ _

_____**sssnake_jae** changed the group name to: **seven goddamn idiots again?**_._ _ _ _

____**bambam69:** guys gyeom and i are dating!!_ _ _ _

____**jbutt:** nice_ _ _ _

____**jyp.jr:** wtf_ _ _ _

____**sssnake_jae:** i wanna date toooo_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**97ers** _ _ _ _

____**yoonohwho:** im so proud of you bambam and gyeom_ _ _ _

____**kookie0901:** OMG SAME YOU GUYS ARE CUTE_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**assthetics (yugkook)** _ _ _ _

____**kookie0901:** GYEOMIE YOU’RE DATING I’M SO PROUD_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**Kims (Yusang, Yugyeom)** _ _ _ _

____**sh_jung:** Mr. Kim where are you? You better be home in five minutes. _ _ _ _

____**yu.sang:** i’m at home mom_ _ _ _

____**sh_jung:** Not you. Your brother._ _ _ _

____**yu_gyeom:** i’m on the way home, mom_ _ _ _

____**sh_jung:** You better be._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**seven goddamn idiots again?** _ _ _ _

____**jyp.jr:** omg youngjae likes jihoon? _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**two out of seven goddamn idiots** _ _ _ _

____**yu_gyeom:** i’m switching my phone off, too many messages. will let you know when i get home._ _ _ _

____**bambam69:** ok_ _ _ _

_An hour later…_

**yu_gyeom:** houston we have a problem

 **bambam69:** what is it

 **yu_gyeom:** im not gonna be able to see much of you for a few weeks

 **bambam69:** what why

 **yu_gyeom:** you know the hickey you gave me earlier? my mom checked through my phone and she found stuff like ‘babe’

 **yu_gyeom:** LUCKILY she didn’t see the one where you called yourself my boyfriend

 **bambam69:** oh shit i am so sorry gyeom i completely forgot about your parents

 **bambam69:** come over if you need to

 **bambam69:** my mom’s got warm soup if you need it

 **yu_gyeom:** thanks bam, i’m considering coming out soon to them but idk yet

 **bambam69:** i love you, okay? stay strong my bb

 **yu_gyeom:** of course for you

 **yu_gyeom:** love you too

 **yu_gyeom:** i’ll try and facetime you soon  <3

 **bambam69:** alright, love you babe


	6. Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **sssnake_jae:** i told them that they were misogynistic cos what if someone was on their period?? and they were bleeding??
> 
>  **jyp.jr:** but then he realized that none of us got periods

**two out of seven goddamn idiots**

**bambam69 sent an[image](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/00/ef/0e/00ef0e7040aaabaf58d4d05f037f9b08.jpg).**

**bambam69:** what if i just wore this to your house 

 **bambam69:** then you can just say i'm your gf and your parents wouldn't suspect anything

 **yu_gyeom:** appreciate the effort babe but no you are not wearing that to my house

 **bambam69:** XD

 **yu_gyeom:** but can’t we just meet at anyone’s house

 **bambam69:** take this to the group chat sweetie

 

**assthetics (yugkook)**

**kookie0901:** how to be brave like you

 **yu_gyeom:** what do you mean kook

 **kookie0901:** how to be brave enough to ask your crush out

 **yu_gyeom:** just do it when you can’t hold in feelings any longer

 **yu_gyeom:** wAIT ARE YOU ASKING JIMIN HYUNG OUT

 

**seven goddamn idiots again?**

**bambam69:** guys emergency

 **bambam69:** yugyeom isn’t allowed to spend time with only one person

 **jyp.jr:** come to my room, i have a kitchen and a bathroom

 **jbutt:** and then we can have a bunch of makeout sessions

 **jyp.jr:** everyone should go so that it’s less sus

 **sssnake_jae:** i have coca cola

 **sssnake_jae:** perfect, i got7

 **jbutt:** that’s a perfect name. got7.

 **jbutt:** anyway come over soon. i’ll get dressed.

 

**jimin and his kookie**

**kookie0901:** hey, sup hyung

 **j1min:** ayo kookie

 **j1min:** how are you?

 **kookie0901:** not bad lmao, what are you doing right now?

 **j1min:** playing club penguin rewritten c:

 **kookie0901:** aww sweet

 **kookie0901:** so um hyung

 **j1min:** yeah?

 **kookie0901:** i was kinda wondering

 **kookie0901:** if we dated, what would it be like?

 **j1min:** it would be fun

 **kookie0901:** oh i see

 **j1min:** can you log on to play with me please?

 **kookie0901:** of course my lovely

 

**assthetics (yugkook)**

**kookie0901 sent an[image](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vb0HBA11MLbmgeYDqaTq731oCzpwra84/view?usp=sharing).**

**kookie0901:** how did i do?

 **yu_gyeom:** you beat around the bush you automatically fail

 **kookie0901:** well shit

 **yu_gyeom:** just tell him directly “i like you”

 **yu_gyeom:** he won’t figure out unless you tell him directly

 **kookie0901:** he’s so cute

 **kookie0901:** when i texted him he was playing club penguin

 **yu_gyeom:** i thought they shut down? i was so pissed for my puffles

 **kookie0901:** same but he’s playing the rewritten version

 **kookie0901:** but yeah he’s oblivious as hell

 **kookie0901:** one time i told him that yoongi hyung gave hoseok hyung a love letter

 **yu_gyeom:** what did he say?

 **kookie0901:** he said “yoongi hyung is such a nice hyung”

 **yu_gyeom:** aww that’s adorable

 **yu_gyeom:** go for it. tell him directly otherwise you’ll spend like ten years chasing each other

 **kookie0901:** alrighty

 

**seven goddamn idiots again?**

**yu_gyeom:** i love you all

 **bambam69:** we love you too yu-gi-oh

 **jbutt:** thanks for coming over guys

 **yu_gyeom:** thanks for inviting us :)

 **bambam69:** gyeom is good at kissing  <3

 **jyp.jr:** so is jaebum

 **sssnake_jae:** ahh i wish i had someone to kiss too

 

**jimin and his kookie**

**kookie0901:** so um hyung

 **j1min:** yes my wonderful sweet kookie

 **kookie0901:** if i told you that i love you and wanted to date you what would you do?

 **j1min:** say yes

 **kookie0901:** because um

 **kookie0901:** i kinda like you?

 **kookie0901:** like i really really like you

 **j1min:** i do too

 **kookie0901:** so um hyung will you go out with me?

 **j1min:** asdfghjkl of course sweetie

 

**assthetics (yugkook)**

**kookie0901:** iM DATING HIM

 **yu_gyeom:** OMG I’M PROUD OF YOU KOOK

 **kookie0901:** im proud of me too

 **yu_gyeom:** you should be! you were my encourager and i’ll be yours, too :D

 

 **kookie0901:** thanks gyeom

 

**seven goddamn idiots again?**

**bambam69 sent an[image](https://www.instagram.com/p/BiGjZD5gOqN/?hl=en).**

**bambam69:** nice pic, gyeom  <3

 **yu_gyeom:** thanks bam

 **bambam69:** so what’s tonight’s talk topic?

 **yu_gyeom:** talk topic?

 **jbutt:** every evening of the last saturday in a month is talk night where we pick a topic and explain to each other

 **jbutt:** since we only know each other through school...it’s a way to learn more about what we don’t see.

 **bambam69:** ooh ooh ooh how about where we live?

 **jbutt:** kay cool

 **yu_gyeom:** oh yeah, it’d be nice to know seeing as my parents are planning on kicking me out in favour of my perfect older brother

 **yu_gyeom:** given that my parents don’t let me live like people my age ;-; i kinda wanna see what your lives are like

 **jyp.jr:** it’s gonna be kay, gyeom

 **jbutt:** so all of us live in this huge apartment? but it’s not really an apartment

 **jyp.jr:** it’s not really an apartment as such. more of a corridor that directly leads to seven bedrooms and a staircase

 **yu_gyeom:** i see

 **yu_gyeom:** how come i went to bambam’s house for the makeout session then?

 **tuan_markeu:** umm for future reference, you may wanna not tell everyone that, gyeom

 **yu_gyeom:** >_<

 **bambam69:** i live there on the weekend cos that’s my parents’ korea house. they live in thailand for half the year and korea for the other half

 **bambam69:** it’s just easier to live here to go to school

 **yu_gyeom:** ohh

 **jbutt:** the landlord, mrs. lee’s been trying to get someone to be in the seventh room

 **jbutt:** she wants to move to be closer to her mother who’s around 85 years old but she has to come back like once a month to keep the room in good shape

 **yu_gyeom:** nice

 **bambam69:** oh and loads of kids live here

 **bambam69:** e.g. kookie and the rest of his guys live two floors below

 **bambam69:** the seventeen guys live in the next building which have more rooms

 **yu_gyeom:** do you guys have a kitchen and a bathroom?

 **jwang:** yeah umm about that we kinda went hunger games style to see who would get the room with both of these

 **jwang:** (literally it’s one per floor but we’ve all got good aim for the toilet)

 **yu_gyeom:** how did the hunger games work out

 **jwang:** you know that scar on my leg?

 **yu_gyeom:** yeah…

 **jwang:** jaebum hyung used a christmas light to try and get me out cos we basically said “if you bleed, you’re out”

 **jwang:** aND IT WORKED

 **sssnake_jae:** i told them that they were misogynistic cos what if someone was on their period?? and they were bleeding??

 **jyp.jr:** but then he realized that none of us got periods

 **yu_gyeom:** who won?

 **bambam69:** well i came to realize that whoever had the kitchen and bathroom had to clean it so i ‘accidentally’ tripped my ass up

 **jyp.jr:** i won :\

 **yu_gyeom:** honestly this doesn’t sound like a bad idea

 **yu_gyeom:** but what made you move out?

 **bambam69:** STORY TIME LITTLE ONE

 **jbutt:** my parents died in a car crash.

 **tuan_markeu:** my dad didn’t want me to see my mom sick in LA so i came here

 **jwang:** i was looking for a cheap home in korea after getting into a fencing school here

 **jyp.jr:** i got kicked out for wanting to be a writer

 **sssnake_jae:** because i want friends to live with :D

 **bambam69:** and i already told you my side earlier

 **yu_gyeom:** as for me, it’s probably going to be because i got kicked out for being gay ;-;

 **bambam69:** it’s gonna be okay

 **sssnake_jae:** it’s gonna be okay

 **jyp.jr:** it’s gonna be okay

 **jbutt:** it’s gonna be okay

 **jwang:** it’s gonna be okay

 **tuan_markeu:** it’s gonna be okay

 **yu_gyeom:** it might be okay, it might not. let mrs. lee know that i most probably will be coming

 **bambam69:** why?

 **yu_gyeom:** cos i’m coming out now


	7. Come Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **jbutt:** happy birthday!!1!1!
> 
> **sssnake_jae:** happy birthday bro!
> 
> **jwang:** happy day of remembering the fact that you were born fifteen years ago

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this was kinda rushed but i had to finish it for bam's bday
> 
> HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAMBAM/KUNPIMOOK BHUWAKUL/THE MOST HILARIOUS PERSON EVER

**two out of seven goddamn idiots**

**bambam69:** get your stuff ready. bare minimum, like phone, laptop, chargers, wallet, clothes

**bambam69:** worst case scenario you can use my stuff  <3 text me afterwards so we know you’re okay

**yu_gyeom:** thanks babe

_An hour later…_

**yu_gyeom:** make that a “yes i’m definitely coming”

**bambam69:** everything okay, yu-gi-oh?

**yu_gyeom:** no

**bambam69:** what’s wrong sweetie?

 

**yu_gyeom:** i’ve come out and been kicked out

**bambam69:** did they give you a limit of how long you can be there for?

**yu_gyeom:** i have to be gone before 11:59 pm

**bambam69:** we have exactly an hour. stay where you are. i’m coming for you on the subway now and i’ll let you know when im at the station okay?

**yu_gyeom:** okay. euljiro sam-ga

**bambam69:** yep

**yu_gyeom:** see you  <3

**bambam69:** take care

 

_11:58 pm_

**the two youngest (bamjae)**

**bambam69:** we really need to change this chat name

**sssnake_jae:** lmao we really do

**sssnake_jae:** speaking of which, how is he?

**bambam69:** gyeom you mean?

**sssnake_jae:** yeah. actually, no. where are you? 

**bambam69:** on the train cos i was picking him up

**bambam69:** when i went to pick him up, he looked like he was gonna cry

**sssnake_jae:** ah poor bb

**sssnake_jae:** i’ll tell the rest of the guys and we can have a pajama party :D

**bambam69:** okay but i think we should keep it lowkey...he’s really distressed right now and i think he’s ready to cry

**sssnake_jae:** mrs. lee said gyeom can come any time he wants to and gave jinyoung hyung a box of cookies for our little pajama party

 

**little shits (bamkook)**

**kookie0901:** i’ve called gyeom like ten times with no response. is he okay?

**bambam69:** physically yes. emotionally no.

**kookie0901:** shit, what’s up?

**bambam69:** he told his parents that he’s gay and they kicked him out of the house

**kookie0901:** alright, send him my love

**bambam69:** will do, thanks

**bambam69:** oh and congrats for asking jimin hyung out

**kookie0901:** thx. take care.

 

**seven goddamn idiots again?**

**jyp.jr:** yo gyeom when you get here take a shower at mine and then we can all kinda chill in my room?

**bambam69:** he said okay (his phone’s dead)

**jbutt:** yugyeom do you have a charger? i have one if you need it

**bambam69:** he’s got one but he said thanks though

**bambam69:** okay we're on the way up, imma take his stuff and put it in his room

**jyp.jr:** okay come over gyeom 

_Three hours later…_

**yu_gyeom:** happy birthday bam! ahh we love you  <3 to know you is the best moment of my life

**bambam69:** thx gyeom! you happier now?

**yu_gyeom:** of course, when I'm with you guys I'm in utopia

**jyp.jr:** woah when did gyeom become so poetic??

**yu_gyeom:** Jungkook sent that line to me XD

**jyp.jr:** happy birthday kunpimook bhuwakul

**bambam69:** thx hyung

**tuan_markeu:** happy birthday child

**jbutt:** happy birthday!!1!1!

**sssnake_jae:** happy birthday bro!

**jwang:** happy day of remembering the fact that you were born fifteen years ago

**bambam69:** thx everyone! I love you all

**jbutt:** what do you wanna do today bam?

**bambam69:** I've kinda always wanted to ride bikes at 4 in the morning

**yu_gyeom:** no questions asked, let's go

_An hour later…_

**bambam69:** is it normal to be this sore after riding a bike?

**jyp.jr:** but like your seat was so high

**bambam69:** you noticed?? and you didn't tell me?

**jyp.jr:** what else do you wanna do today?

**yu_gyeom:** nah babe I'm really sore too

**bambam69:** but your chilli pepper is...um...above average in size

**yu_gyeom:** and yours isn't?

**bambam69:** how do you know I'm not big?

**bambam69:** btw Kookie has been trying to call you for five hours now. pls call him back. 

 

**assthetics (yugkook)**

**yu_gyeom:** hi kook, thanks for worrying. im good now, don’t worry

**kookie0901:** okay good, take care gyeomie

**yu_gyeom:** thx kookie

**yu_gyeom:** But I’m like really really happy rn

**kookie0901:** why? you literally got kicked out of the house five hours ago

**yu_gyeom:** because right now, i’m with the boy that i love forever :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the reason why wangy said that bam was 15 is because that's how they're all in high school together :)))


	8. Reconnection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **kookie0901:** evil doesn’t exist/isn’t allowed to exist in his world and that’s why he needs actual protection
> 
>  **yu_gyeom:** right. from now on jimin hyung deserves his own protection squad: you, me, bambam, taemin hyung and jongin hyung
> 
>  **kookie0901:** umm i didn’t really mean like that
> 
>  **yu_gyeom:** ooh ooh ooh okay then how about a box of condoms?
> 
>  **kookie0901:** nO

**97ers**

**kookie0901:** soooo….when are we adding sicheng to the group?

 **yoonohwho:** i don’t have his number

 **bambam69:** jung jaehyun/jung yoonoh are you telling me that you’re in the same friend group as sicheng and you don’t know his number

 **yoonohwho:** yes we are both in neo culture technology

 **mingh8o:** i have his number after i lost my pizza and he found it for me

 **kookie0901:** great myungho now please add him

_**user:xuminghao8 (+82 5935 3346)** added **user:dongs1cheng (+82 9546 4993)** to group chat: **97ers**._

**w1nw1n:** hi guys!

 **yoonohwho:** sichenggggggg i don’t actually have your number :D

 **w1nw1n:** that’s…

 **w1nw1n: @mingh8o** how do i say 不妙 in korean

 **mingh8o:** well it’s “not comforting” but a little bit of 反讽/sarcasm won’t hurt here so “reassuring”

 **w1nw1n:** i learnt a new word today :)))) that’s reassuring

 **mingh8o:** you need the … between the two words otherwise you won’t sound like a sarcastic teen

 **mingh8o:** you’ll sound like a grandma that’s just found out that degrading eyesight wasn’t blindness, it was dirty glasses

 **w1nw1n:** that’s...reassuring

 **mingh8o:** good job

 **bambam69:** did myungho just teach sicheng how to be sarcastic in korean what have you done my boy

 **kookie0901:** let’s introduce ourselves to sicheng :D esp so that he can know who yoonoh is, the guy he lived with for over a year now

 **bambam69:** okay yes i’m bambam stormborn, house of got7, breaker of screen protectors and mother/protector/boyfriend/lover/soulmate of a very sleepy yugyeom. He says hi but he’s sleeping on my lap rn

 **kookie0901:** bam happens to be very upset that he never got casted for game of thrones

 **yoonohwho:** hi nice to meet you winwin it’s not like i’m sitting right next to you

 **dokyeom:** hi! i’m dokyeom/dk/seokmin from seventeen. my nickname is dokyeom but you can call me either

 **min9:** sup i’m mingyu but you can call me minggu or mingnine lol

 **kookie0901:** and there’s me! im jungkook but you can call me kookie or nochu

 **w1nw1n:** oh okay! hi, im sicheng :D

 **yu_gyeom:** hi sicheng!

 **w1nw1n:** sup my bro

 **bambam69:** you guys seem close

 **yoonohwho:** you guys seem close

 **bambam69:** JINX

 **yoonohwho:** JINX

 **yu_gyeom:** hmm the scent of irony is strong

 **w1nw1n:** minghao what’s irony in chinese

 **mingh8o:** 讽刺

 **w1nw1n:** 谢谢 弟弟

 **mingh8o:** im 10 DAYS YOUNGER THAN YOU

 **w1nw1n:** i love you, minghao

 **mingh8o:** love you too

 **kookie0901:** see, sicheng has this thing about him that’s so adorable and you can’t help but tell him that you love him even if he’s being a little shit

 **w1nw1n:** o___O

 **kookie0901:** sorry winwin...we still love you even if you’re a little shit

 **w1nw1n:** no i just thought that you were the maknae of BTS so you were like pure and didn’t swear

 **mingh8o:** aww sicheng you deluded baby

 **w1nw1n:** ?

 **mingh8o:** 柾国不是个天真的宝宝

 **w1nw1n:** ㅋㅋㅋ

 **kookie0901:** what does that mean?

 **w1nw1n:** sometimes I forgot that you're older than me by a month

 **yu_gyeom:** oh my gosh sicheng using korean slang/emojis is adorable

 **bambam69:** ㅋㅋㅋ

 **bambam69:** ㅋㅋㅋ

 **bambam69:** ㅋㅋㅋ

 **yu_gyeom:** ?

 **bambam69:** AM I CUTE

 **yu_gyeom:** of course baby

 

**little shits (bamkook)**

**bambam69:** kookie am i cute?

 **kookie0901:** i don’t wanna backstab gyeomie here but yes you are cute bambam

 **bambam69:** gYEOMIE DOESN’T AGREE

 **kookie0901:** of course he does; he said earlier!

 **bambam69:** but he just kinda brushed me off T.T he doesn’t love me

 **kookie0901:** gyeom said you accidentally sent your rant about how much you love gyeom to gyeom and not youngjae hyung?

 **bambam69:** yeah but still he doesn’t love me

 **kookie0901:** even though you sent to the wrong contact, he took the initiative to ask you out right? doesn’t that mean he loves you so so much?

 **bambam69:** i guess

 **kookie0901:** and you love him a lot too right?

 **bambam69:** yeah

 **kookie0901:** exactly

 **kookie0901:** feel better now?

 **bambam69:** yeah

 **bambam69:** thanks kook

 **kookie0901:** no prob. i love seeing my otp happy :D

 **bambam69:** we’re your otp…?

 **kookie0901:** yeah!

 **bambam69:** o___O

 

**assthetics (yugkook)**

**kookie0901:** gyeom you know if you smell your boyfriend’s stuff it smells good

 **yu_gyeom:** you’ve been smelling bambam’s stuff?

 **kookie0901:** no but i’ve smelled jimin hyung’s stuff and it smells so good

 **yu_gyeom:** remind me why you were smelling him again?

 **kookie0901:** I sniffed him while he was telling me about school. he keeps getting made fun of at school :( they tell him that he’s a retard and shit like that

 **yu_gyeom:** he’s such a precious bean though like how can they be so mean to him

 **kookie0901:** the problem lies in the area that he’s so naive and oblivious so they think he’s stupid

 **kookie0901:** idk?? it’s just that he’s so smol and blissfully unaware of the big, scary world around him. he sees the world in a beautiful, poetic light that no one else can see but when bad things happen it hurts him so much because he doesn’t know/doesn’t want to acknowledge the terrors of our world

 **yu_gyeom:** he’s an actual baby still. im sure of that

 **kookie0901:** like at night he’ll get bad dreams unless im next to him

 **kookie0901:** evil doesn’t exist/isn’t allowed to exist in his world and that’s why he needs actual protection

 **yu_gyeom:** right. from now on jimin hyung deserves his own protection squad: you, me, bambam, taemin hyung and jongin hyung

 **kookie0901:** umm i didn’t really mean like that

 **yu_gyeom:** ooh ooh ooh okay then how about a box of condoms?

 **kookie0901:** nO

 **kookie0901:** the problem now is that he thinks he is stupid cos he really believes them T.T

 **yu_gyeom:** ahh no

 **kookie0901:** but onto more important matters what’s up with you and bam?

 **yu_gyeom:** what are you talking about?

 **kookie0901:** he thinks that you think that he’s not cute

 **yu_gyeom:** WHAT

 **yu_gyeom:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

 **kookie0901:** he’s insisting that you think winwin’s cuter than he is

 **yu_gyeom:** but that’s not true! like winwin is adorable but bam is even cuter!

 **yu_gyeom:** like i’m in love with him

 **kookie0901:** i know that

 **yu_gyeom:** BUT HE DOESN’T

 **kookie0901:** he does but he just worries a lot about what you think

 **yu_gyeom:** for real?

 

 **kookie0901:** of course. go see him tomorrow morning; it’s getting late now

 **yu_gyeom:** okay

 **kookie0901:** come to think of it, why are you still up?

 **yu_gyeom:** i could ask you the same questiion

 **kookie0901:** but i asked first

 **yu_gyeom:** i can’t sleep

 **kookie0901:** gyeom this is your chance to go to his room and be with him

 **yu_gyeom:** omg yes goodbye

 **kookie0901:** GO GO GO

 **yu_gyeom:** byeeee

 

_4:38 am…_

**little shits (bamkook)**

**bambam69:** why is there a yugyeom in my bed


	9. Nighttime Texts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **bambam69:** i egest. I shall contact gyeom
> 
>  **kookie0901:** don’t you mean digress?
> 
>  **bambam69:** what’s the difference?
> 
>  **kookie0901:** egest means to tAKE A SHit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i is back

**seven goddamn idiots again?**

_4:37 am…_

**jyp.jr:** the chat is d e a d

 **bambam69:** like your jokes

 **bambam69:** like your social life

 **bambam69:** like your grades

 **jyp.jr:** is he under the influence

 **yu_gyeom:** no

 **jbutt:** since he’s drugged up rn imma change my name

 **yu_gyeom:** he’s not but okay

 **yu_gyeom:** and also i thought the author said don’t change our names because then everyone will change their names and she’ll have to spend her time editing her special spreadsheet with our details and her ipad’s autocorrect system

 **yu_gyeom:** besides, she’ll forget we changed our names so that there’s no point

 **yu_gyeom:** -looks into the camera like they do in the office-

 **dglrd:** fuc- i mean, fruit punch; they’re becoming aware

 **dglrd:** obliviate, peasants

 

 **assthetics (yugkook)**

**kookie0901:** how do you get someone to fall asleep

 **yu_gyeom:** idk, how?

 **kookie0901:** it's not a joke, Hugo

 **yu_gyeom:** who's hugo

 **kookie0901:** *yugyeom

 **yu_gyeom:** how did you write Hugo*

 **kookie0901:** autocorrect lmao

 **kookie0901:** but seriously Jimin's been drawing sticker graffiti for five hours now and he gets all cranky if he doesn't sleep enough

 **yu_gyeom:** then tell him to sleep

 **kookie0901:** you do it, i’ve tried like 20 times

 **yu_gyeom:** truth be told kook, i’m probably not the best person to ask to make jiminie hyung fall asleep 

**yu_gyeom:** why else am i awake every evening

 **kookie0901:** does bambam know?

 **yu_gyeom:** no

 **kookie0901:** you should let him know

 **kookie0901:** or i’ll let him know myself

 **yu_gyeom:** go ahead

 **kookie0901:** why don’t you wanna let him know

 **yu_gyeom:** it’s...hard to explain

 

**little shits (bamkook)**

**kookie0901:** bro

 **bambam69:** yes my bro

 **kookie0901:** listen here my bro 

**bambam69:** your bro is listening

 **kookie0901:** my bro’s boyfriend isn’t sleeping

 **bambam69:** why is your bro’s boyfriend not sleeping

 **kookie0901:** no but seriously jokes aside

 **kookie0901:** gyeom can’t sleep

 **bambam69:** what do you mean??

 **kookie0901:** i mean that yugyeom lacks the ability to be in a state of REM

 **bambam69:** ohhh

 **bambam69:** umm it’s a little weird that i figured that out the second time…

 **kookie0901:** weird but sweet. you are like jimin. confusing as hell but cute

 **bambam69:** is he sleeping?

 **bambam69:** (jimin i mean)

 **kookie0901:** i heard him open his drawer. the broken one which is the one where he stores his stuff there...so he’s sleeping

 **bambam69:** honestly we should start a society for ‘peeps with boyfriends that can’t sleep’

 **bambam69:** after all, neither of them can ever sleep

 **bambam69:** i egest. I shall contact gyeom

 **kookie0901:** don’t you mean digress?

 **bambam69:** what’s the difference?

 **kookie0901:** egest means to tAKE A SHit

 

**two out of seven goddamn idiots (yugbam)**

**bambam69:** gyeom?

 **yu_gyeom:** sup bam

 **bambam69:** why are you still awake?

 **yu_gyeom:** i could ask you the same question, mr. bhuwakul

 **bambam69:** first of all, that’s jaebum hyung’s line. second of all, most couples call each other ‘babe’ or ‘sweetie’ or stuff but we’re down to last names now, are we, mr. kim?

 **yu_gyeom:** okok fine i can’t sleep

 **yu_gyeom:** kook told you huh

 **bambam69:** mmhm

 **bambam69:** what’s the matter? why can’t you sleep, sweetie?

 **bambam69:** or should i say, mr. kim

 **yu_gyeom:** umm i got a call from my brother earlier

 **bambam69:** oh god...what happened?

 **yu_gyeom:** he said that my mother and father told me that i’ll burn in hell because i’m gay

 **yu_gyeom:** or should i say, _his_ mother and father

 **bambam69:** aww gyeomie you know that’s not true. you’re the sweetest, most angelic person in the universe

 **yu_gyeom:** without losing a piece of me, how can i get to heaven? 

**yu_gyeom:** but it hurts to be me

 **yu_gyeom:** like, being gay hurts me sometimes and i don’t wanna be gay 

**bambam69:** i mean that’s a little insulting becoz if you wasn’t ghei then i would be forever alone

 **yu_gyeom:** forever alone…? are you saying that we’re forever?

 **bambam69:** of course we’re forever. we’re soulmates, gyeom

 **yu_gyeom:** we’re meant to be?

 **bambam69:** yep. even the fact that you’re gay is meant to be. you were meant to be gay, gyeom. it was always in your destiny. you are who you are and you can’t change that

 **bambam69:** we love you for who you are and one day, you’ll love who you are too

 **yu_gyeom:** i will try, i promise

 **yu_gyeom:** everything good comes with small steps

 **bambam69:** yep

 **yu_gyeom:** so from this day forth, i will no longer be known as yugyeom on the beautiful app of MessAge**

 **bambam69:** i thought the author said not to

 **yu_gyeom:** i know. i don’t care.

 **dglrd:** that’s nice, gyeom 

**yu_gyeom:** i will be known as

 _ **user:yu_gyeom (+82 5972 7669)** changed his screen name to **user:yu_gayeom**_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *ayo @luke/stinkyegg wait am i luke or are you luke and who's larry??
> 
> **MessAge is a private texting server created by namjoon (who WILL be brought up later :D) and it's a pun by seokjin referring to how MESSed up our AGE is, combining together to create the word message


	10. ICN-->DXB (DAB)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **kookie0901:** nice name change lmao
> 
>  **yu_gayeom:** thanks lmao
> 
>  **kookie0901:** are we ending all our texts in ‘lmao’ lmao
> 
>  **yu_gayeom:** yeah lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologize for the long delay between the last chapter and this one! Enjoy!

**seven goddamn idiots again?**

**tuan_markeu:** SCHOOL IS OUT LET’S GO BUY FOOD FOR HOME

 **bambam69:** FRANCE HERE WE COMEEE

 **yu_gayeom:** um sorry just to confirm we meet at the lobby at 8 tonight right?

 **jbutt:** yep!

 **yu_gayeom:** ah cool thank you hyung

 **bambam69:** gyeom the svt 97ers are there already right?

 **yu_gayeom:** yeah

 **sssnake_jae:** what about the 96ers?

 **bambam69:** you just wanna see jihoon hyung don't you

 **sssnake_jae:** yEAH

 **sssnake_jae:** *no

 **sssnake_jae:** I wish for more people for a merrier trip

 **sssnake_jae:** the more the merrier :D

 **bambam69:** liar

 **yu_gayeom:** liar

 **bambam69:** pants

 **yu_gayeom:** are

 **bambam69:** on

 **yu_gayeom:** fire

 **yu_gayeom:** ssakda bultaewora bow wow wow

 **bambam69:** where did that come from lmao

 **yu_gayeom:** idk, Kookie and his hyungs keep saying it though

 **jyp.jr:** the more important question is what the hell have we done to gyeom

 **bambam69:** rip a pure sweet soul, gone but never forgotten, always remembered in our hearts

 **yu_gayeom:** i can’t believe we’re going on holiday together :D

 **bambam69:** speaking of kookie what is he doing?

 **yu_gayeom:** hang on lemme ask

 

**assthetics (yugkook)**

**yu_gayeom:** yo kookie what are you doing over the summer?

 **kookie0901:** nice name change lmao

 **yu_gayeom:** thanks lmao

 **kookie0901:** are we ending all our texts in ‘lmao’ lmao

 **yu_gayeom:** yeah lmao

 **kookie0901:** anyway to answer your question jiminie hyung is gonna take me to this special place of his

 **yu_gayeom:** oh nice, what is it?

 **kookie0901:** you have to keep it a secret, okay? it’s called jimin’s special pond for a reason

 **yu_gayeom:** OK

 **kookie0901:** it’s behind his parents’ house, in a forest. his parents basically are the only ones that live near there so jimin goes there a lot

 **kookie0901:** it’s a huge pond/small lake and it’s really pretty with nice rocks and a cool cave

 **yu_gayeom:** that’s amazing

 **kookie0901:** sometimes i forget that i’m younger than him

 **yu_gayeom:** why??

 **kookie0901:** when we go there we have this game where we pretend that outside of the pond is a dangerous place and that it’s safe in there and that we live there

 **kookie0901:** after i take photos and he collects his rocks we go to the cave or climb the hill; there's a huge building about 45 mins walk away but it's one single path and we take pics there

 **kookie0901:** and then he’ll snuggle up to me and then i fall asleep and then he goes to his backpack and gets a blanket out to cover me with

 **yu_gayeom:** he’s so pure that was the purest story i’ve ever heard

 **kookie0901:** I know

 **yu_gayeom:** is he the type of person that has intense dreams and goals? like a dream job or something

 **kookie0901:** YES

 **kookie0901:** he wants to be a geologist when he grows up

 **kookie0901:** a pedologist, specifically

**kookie0901 sent an image.**

**kookie0901:** that was him sitting on a tree

 **yu_gayeom:** i feel like you guys are that type of couple that even the smallest things show that you guys are in love

 **kookie0901:** ya think? I have a picture of him wearing a seatbelt because he looks cute like that

 **kookie0901:** i like seeing my bf being safe

 **kookie0901:** actually between you and bam you’re the pure one that’s why pure jiminie hyung seems so surprising for you

 **kookie0901:** you aren’t aware of what pure people are like because you’re too busy being one yourself

 **yu_gayeom:** hehe

 **yu_gayeom:** “exCUSE ME I’M BUSY HERE”

 **yu_gayeom:** “I’M BUSY BEING PURE”

 **yu_gayeom:** XD

 **kookie0901:** XD

 **kookie0901:** look, i’ll text you more later okay? jm hyung is calling me

 **yu_gayeom:** okie!

 

**seven goddamn idiots again**

**bambam69:** gyeom?

 **jyp.jr:** give him a few more minutes

 **bambam69:** is there something wrong with MessAge cos I can tell Kookie to tell Jimin hyung

 **jyp.jr:** honestly it's amazing that jimin created this whole app like from the coding to the graphics mostly only using his iPhone 4 and a school computer

 **jyp.jr:** is it a public app yet?

 **bambam69:** no he's made it an invite only app but the bean child made the mistake of inviting his classmates as well, all of whom are homophobic and just mean overall

 **bambam69:** so now they keep harassing him and even though he's the creator and he can revoke their permission he hasn't because he doesn't wanna hurt anyone

 **jyp.jr:** that's pure

 **yu_gayeom:** sorry about that

 **yu_gayeom:** kookie said he’s hanging with jimin hyung//he’s staying here

 **bambam69:** i see

 **jbutt:** zzz

 **bambam69:** hyung…?

 **jbutt:** i think we should get off our phones and sleep until 8pm

 **jbutt:** after all, our flight is at midnight

 **bambam69:** i don’t wanna sleep

 **bambam69:** gyeom and i are gonna get drunk!!

 

**two out of seven goddamn idiots (yugbam)**

**yu_gayeom:** actually no offense babe but i kinda wanna sleep

 **bambam69:** okay then  <3 lemme join you

 

**seven goddamn idiots again?**

**bambam69:** wait never mind i’ll sleep

 **jyp.jr:** gyeom has used his whipping powers again hasn’t he

 **yu_gayeom:** …

 **yu_gayeom:** maybe?

 

_7:30 pm…_

**bambam69:** insert frantic packing here

 **jyp.jr:** your own fault you didn’t pack earlier

 **bambam69:** thanks for the sympathy hyung!!

 **sssnake_jae:** im gonna buy a coffee first

 **jbutt:** you’re gonna carry all your bags to the coffee shop?

 **sssnake_jae:** no i’m leaving them in my room

 **sssnake_jae:** anyone want something?

 **jbutt:** no thanks

 **jyp.jr:** im good

 **tuan_markeu:** we cool

 **jwang:** im cooler than mark hyung though lmao but im good thanks youngjae

 **yu_gayeom:** nah thanks hyung

 **bambam69:** i’m fine thank you though hyung

 **yu_gayeom:** focus on packing babe

 **bambam69:** okok

 **yu_gayeom:** hang on i’m out of lens solution

 **bambam69:** your not supposed to get a camera lens wet though

 **yu_gayeom:** no babe i mean as in for contact lenses

 **jwang:** i still don’t understand how people wear lenses without worrying about them falling to the back of their heads

 

_8:03 pm…_

**jbutt:** guys did you manage to get a taxi?

 **yu_gayeom:** yes hyung we’re on the highway now

 **jbutt:** good good

 **yu_gayeom:** hyung how many bags do you guys have? like including carry on

 **jbutt:** we all have two; one carry on and one suitcase

 **jbutt:** you?

 **yu_gayeom:** youngjae hyung said he doesn’t need much so he has one carry on suitcase but bambam and i have two each, same as hyungs

 **jbutt:** ah yeah oldjae always does that and he's the one that actually doesn't die on the way home from holding too much

 **yu_gayeom:** ah but hyung one thing

 **yu_gayeom:** we just couldn’t figure out why we had an extra suitcase with us?

 **jbutt:** ah yeah about that

 **jbutt:** jackson didn’t want to overload our taxi so he gave his suitcase to you guys

 **yu_gayeom:** oh

 **jbutt:** actually where is everyone else?

 **yu_gayeom:** youngjae hyung put his phone in my suitcase so we’ll have to dig it out later but he’s playing with his gameboy

 **jbutt:** why does he even have a gameboy??

 **yu_gayeom:** i really have no idea but bambam is sleeping on my shoulder

 **yu_gayeom:** how about your car?

 **jbutt:** mark hyung and jackson were kissing (they really got passionate to the point that it wasn’t cute it was so gross just saying)

 **jbutt:** jinyoung is pretending not to see or hear anything

 **yu_gayeom:** ah, we’re right behind you!

 **yu_gayeom:** look back

 **jbutt:** can’t; i’ll get carsick

 **jyp.jr:** can’t you guys private chat instead

 **jbutt:** nope

 **jbutt:** gyeom wake bambam up

 **yu_gayeom:** okay

 **jwang:** we’ve arrived at the airport...everyone else is dealing with their bags

 **yu_gayeom:** we’ve got yours, hyung, don’t worry...we’re pulling in now

 

_11:36 pm…_

**tuan_markeu:** see y’all in dubai!

 **bambam69:** dubai??

 **jbutt:** we have a stopover for four hours

 

_11:48 pm..._

**tuan_markeu:** and we ARE OFF!


	11. Dubai + Jijae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **bambam69:** oh yeah FYI youngjae hyung listen up
> 
>  **bambam69:** svt is at gate 207
> 
>  **sssnake_jae:** 207? But that's like halfway across the airport 
> 
> **bambam69:** ooh is that implying that you're intending on going there?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was tired of youngjae being the seventh wheel. 
> 
> known fact: youngjae and jihoon both love music. they're both 96ers. so let the shipping begin.
> 
> a little glimpse into the svt life for all the carats out there!

**seven goddamn idiots again?**

**jbutt:** guys meet back in three hours at the boarding gate okay?

 **bambam69:** but why do we have to be at the boarding gate three hours early?

 **jbutt:** it’s nice to be early

 **sssnake_jae:** but not three hours early!

 **jbutt:** yo @hyungline what do you say about leaving the maknaes behind in dubai and leave them to get sunburnt in the 36ºC weather

 **tuan_markeu:** what’s that in fahrenheit

 **jbutt:** like 97º

 **tuan_markeu:** jeez okay then why not

 **yu_gayeom:** even me?? ;-;

 **jbutt:** okay fine yeah gyeom you’re innocent you can come

 **jyp.jr:** just saying babe,,, it is a little early

 **jbutt:** you’re right three and a half hours it is

 **bambam69:** so what are you guys doing?

 **jyp.jr:** eating with jaebum hyung

 **bambam69:** where is gyeom?

 **jbutt:** he’s reading his chemistry textbook

 **sssnake_jae:** what a nerd

 **bambam69:** aww my adorkable bb

 **bambam69:** oops autocorrect

 **bambam69:** *what a nerd

 **yu_gayeom:** oof well sorry if you don't want to pass chem this year

 **bambam69:** oh yeah FYI youngjae hyung listen up

 **bambam69:** svt is at gate 207

 **sssnake_jae:** 207? But that's like halfway across the airport

 **bambam69:** ooh is that implying that you're intending on going there?

 **sssnake_jae:** none of your business

 **sssnake_jae:** I guess we do have three hours

 

_Meanwhile, at gate 207…_

**exactly what it says on the (sebeun)tin**

**coups:** I heard that your friends are here, 97ers?

 **mingh8o:** yeah

 **dokyeom:** uh huh

 **coups:** what about you, mingyu?

 **jih00nie:** he doesn't have friends

 **joo(f)n:** oof

 **hosh:** you should really get that trademarked

 **hjs:** which friends?

 **min9:** ok first of all I have friends…

 **min9:** also it's like Gyeom and bam

 **coups:** honestly they mention them so much but we never met them

 **dokyeom:** I guess if they swing by we can introduce you guys

 **coups:** yeah that's cool

 **jih00nie:** who's youngjae again?

 **mingh8o:** oh that's one of their hyungs

 **jih00nie:** hmm interesting

 **mingh8o:** why you ask?

 **jih00nie:** crap they're on to me

 **jih00nie:** oops wrong chat

 **jih00nie:** no particular reason

 

**leader line**

**coups:** who were you intending to send that to, hoonie?

 **jih00nie:** myself

 **hosh:** hey aren't you the guy that said that mingyu has no friends

 **coups:** ^^^

 **jih00nie:** no it's just that youngjae sounds like a cool guy that likes music

 **jih00nie:** but I had to be sure it was him

 **coups:** we didn't ask you about that hoonie but thanks for the info I guess

 

**dongsaengs**

**mingh8o:** do you think hoonie is up to something

 **dokyeom:** wdym also to quote cheol hyung, that's hoonie hyung to us

 **mingh8o:** alright fine hoonie HYUNG but do you think he might

 **mingh8o:** you know

 **mingh8o:** have a crush on youngjae hyung

 **boo:** oohhhhh

 **dokyeom:** it's entirely possible

 **dinosoar:** the real question here is whether youngjae likes him back

 **dokyeom:** again, that's youngjae hyung to us

 **min9:** so what is the decent thing to do

 **versoltile:** I mean the decent thing to do is let them find their ways to each other

 **mingh8o:** thx for input sol

 **mingh8o:** thanks to your suggestions, we will do the good deed of introducing them to each other

 **versoltile:** that's not what I said- you know what, never mind

 **boo:** operation get youngjae and Jihoon together starts

 **dokyeom:** again, they're both hyungs to- eh forget it

 

**more swag (and more foreign) than foreign swaggers (bambam, minghao)**

**mingh8o:** yo bam

 **bambam69:** sup hao

 **mingh8o:** you're in the airport, right?

 **bambam69:** yeah

 **mingh8o:** oh we are too

 **bambam69:** huh? I thought you guys were already in France

 **mingh8o:** no, we were in Dubai for a while though

 **bambam69:** oh ok

 **mingh8o:** anyway, come over to gate 207

 **bambam69:** ok

 **mingh8o:** and bring youngjae hyung too

 **bambam69:** ok

 

_Narration: After Gyeom and Bam and the dongsaengs of SVT introduced ~~the two lovebirds~~ Youngjae and and Jihoon together, Youngjae went to join his hyungs and Jihoon went to join the rest of the hyung line of SVT._

**teeny tiny (Jihoon and chan)**

**jih00nie:** chan, quick

 **jih00nie:** what's youngjae’s number

 **dinosoar:** ooh, someone's in love

 **jih00nie:** shush

 **dinosoar:** oh so you admit it

 **jih00nie:** no!

 **dinosoar:** don't lie

 **jih00nie:** alright fine

 **jih00nie:** just please find out his number

 **jih00nie:** and please - don't tell anyone

 **dinosoar:** alright

 **dinosoar:** okay but for what in return

 **jih00nie:** anything maknae wants

 **dinosoar:** fine I’ll ask yugyeom hyung

 **dinosoar:** but I'm expecting fifty bags of gummy bears by tomorrow morning

 **jih00nie:** and if I don't give to you?

 **dinosoar:** idk I just want gummies

 **jih00nie:** alright since you asked so nicely

 

**a tale of two maknaes (yugyeom, chan)**

**dinosoar:** yugyeom hyung

 **yu_gayeom:** woah not used to being called hyung but hi chan

 **dinosoar:** by any chance do you have youngjae hyung’s number?

 **yu_gayeom:** yeah, why?

 **dinosoar:** nah no reason really

_**yu_gayeom:** sent a contact._

**dinosoar:** thank you!!

 

**teeny tiny (Jihoon and chan)**

_**dinosoar:** sent a contact._

**jih00nie:** thanks chan

 **jih00nie:** take my money, buy gummies

 **dinosoar:** thanks hyung

_Narration: Somewhere in the distance, Chan runs off, cheering. He returns with arms full of gummies and some change. Jihoon tells him to keep the change._

 

**dongsaengs**

**dinosoar:** woah that was weird suddenly Jihoon hyung is no longer stingy he told me to keep the change

 **mingh8o:** guess love really changes a person

 

**yjchoi, leejihoon**

**jih00nie:** hey um this might sound weird but I'm Jihoon

 **jih00nie:** we just met, I think

 **sssnake_jae:** oh, hi! I'm youngjae :D

 **jih00nie:** so I heard you like music, huh

 **sssnake_jae:** yeah! we have mutual friends I believe

 **jih00nie:** yeah

 **jih00nie:** so what instruments do you like?

 **sssnake_jae:** I can play the piano and violin and I can kinda sing?

 **jih00nie:** sweet! I play the clarinet

 **jih00nie:** trust me, I've had my fair share of being called squidward

 **sssnake_jae:** that's great, I've always wanted to play the clarinet

 **jih00nie:** hahahahahahaha no you don't

 **sssnake_jae:** huh?

 **jih00nie:** chapped lips, sore shoulders, poor posture

 **sssnake_jae:** we should get together, make some music or something

 **jih00nie:** yeah sure lets talk music over coffee or something like that

 **jih00nie:** I sound like a dork

 **sssnake_jae:** but yeah let's meet. Maybe we could meet in france

 **jih00nie:** yeah. I have my clarinet

 **sssnake_jae:** the closest thing I have on me to a piano is garage band lmao

 **sssnake_jae:** but I have my violin

 **jih00nie:** cool! let's meet in France. Country of romance, amirite?

 **sssnake_jae:** mmhm

 

**the two youngest (bamjae)**

**sssnake_jae sent an[image](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Tj6Ar9Y04R4s1K0sawwW2ozjfHpBm7kQ/view?usp=sharing).**

**sssnake_jae:** wHAT IS RHIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN

 **sssnake_jae:** ‘COUNTRY OF ROMANCE'

 **bambam69:** ooh someone's in love

 **sssnake_jae:** I'm not!

 **bambam69:** um I wasn't talking about you

 **sssnake_jae:** oh ahahaha yeah

 **bambam69:** but now that i think about it, it’s both of you two


	12. Music, or Date?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **sssnake_jae:** I was your ‘cool hyung’ when you were in fifth grade
> 
>  **sssnake_jae:** I was how you were seen as a cool kid with friends in the year above
> 
>  **sssnake_jae:** I beat the shit out of everyone who bullied you using my snack box
> 
>  **sssnake_jae:** and speaking of shit, I was the one that taught you to wipe your ass after you took a shit when you were two years old
> 
>  **sssnake_jae:** because you thought your arms couldn't reach your ass-covered shit
> 
>  **sssnake_jae:** *shit-covered ass

**seven goddamn idiots again?**

**jbutt:** so who’s up for going to a French cafe for tea?

 **bambam69:** tea? posh much

 **yu_gayeom:** bam said yes, me too

 **tuan_markeu:** same

 **sssnake_jae:** oh umm is it okay if i join you guys for dinner later?

 **bambam69:** why, because you’re going on your date with jihoon hyung?

 **sssnake_jae:** oh be quiet

 **bambam69:** but you are, right?

 **sssnake_jae:** yeah that’s why i was cleaning my violin earlier

 **jbutt:** sure, have a good date jae

 **sssnake_jae:** thanks hyung

 

_Meanwhile, in the SVT chat…_

**exactly what it says on the (sebeun)tin**

**coups:** what’s up with hoonie why’s he all quiet and red

 **boo:** he’s in love

 **jih00nie:** fuck off

 **hannie:** are you sick you little shit idk cos you’re not in my hotel room

 **jih00nie:** ask dad or the weeb

 **hannie:** who’s the weeb

 **jih00nie:** soonyoung, who else?? his name is literally hoshi

 **hosh:** fuck you

 **jih00nie:** no you

 **hosh:** you were watching naruto with me this morning!

 **jih00nie:** oh fuck off

 **mingh8o:** yo jihoon what’s this i hear about you and youngjae going on a date

 **jih00nie:** first, it’s not a date?? it’s a music meetup

 **jih00nie:** second of all where did you hear that from

 **boo:** you are going on a date and you know it

 **jih00nie:** even if i am, what does it matter to you?

 **boo:** oh, so you are dating him

 **jih00nie:** again, what does it matter to you?

 **coups:** it matters, hoon, because you’re the first not to date within svt

 **jih00nie:** so?

 **coups:** you're a pioneer

 

**yjchoi, leejihoon**

**jih00nie:** hey youngjae wanna come to my room later and hang out?

 **sssnake_jae:** only if it isn't inconvenient for you and your friends?

 **jih00nie:** of course it isn't a problem :)

 **jih00nie:** they're dragging me around the city but I'll be upstairs in about, say, half an hour

 **sssnake_jae:** okay, let me know when you get back and then I'll call you before I come downstairs

 **sssnake_jae:** no rush, btw. thanks for letting me come to your room

 **jih00nie:** no problem. also, what's your favourite beverage?

 **sssnake_jae:** you don't need to buy anything!! if anything I should buy since we’ll be in your room

 **jih00nie:** no seriously it's fine

 **sssnake_jae:** too late

 **sssnake_jae:** I asked Gyeom and he asked seokmin and seokmin said you like ice americano

 **jih00nie:** yeah Yoongi hyung recommended to me

 **sssnake_jae:** alright got your drink

 **jih00nie:** ahh you're the best ily

 

**the two youngest (bamjae)**

**sssnake_jae** sent an [image](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-phVZLsiVT04tWB89ziBVSZS02Xorhg8/view?usp=sharing).

 **sssnake_jae:** HOW DO I RESPOND?

 **bambam69:** you do know, hyung, that ‘ily’ is only within friend zone, right?

 **sssnake_jae:** I was your ‘cool hyung’ when you were in fifth grade

 **sssnake_jae:** I was how you were seen as a cool kid with friends in the year above

 **sssnake_jae:** I beat the shit out of everyone who bullied you using my snack box

 **sssnake_jae:** and speaking of shit, I was the one that taught you to wipe your ass after you took a shit when you were two years old

 **sssnake_jae:** because you thought your arms couldn't reach your ass-covered shit

 **sssnake_jae:** *shit-covered ass

 **sssnake_jae:** and now you're telling me

 **sssnake_jae:** that hoonie is friend zoning me?

 **bambam69:** I'm sorry hyung ;-;

 **bambam69:** I guess I'm just speaking from personal experience

 **sssnake_jae:** what, gyeom sent ily to you?

 **bambam69:** no, my ex did though

 **sssnake_jae:** oh

 **bambam69:** anyway

 **bambam69:** he's probably just holding off a little + he’s a little shy as well from what minghao told me

 **sssnake_jae:** really?

 **bambam69:** yeah

 **bambam69:** he's basically Yoongi hyung’s brother, and you can imagine Yoongi hyung doing that

 **sssnake_jae:** fair enough

 **bambam69:** you're going on a date with him right?

 **sssnake_jae:** I guess you could call it a date

 **bambam69:** good luck then

 **sssnake_jae:** thank you bam

 

_Three hours later…_

**seven goddamn idiots again?**

**yu_gaeyeom:** so hyung how was your date?

 **sssnake_jae:** really, really fun! we made a lot of music

 **sssnake_jae:** recorded our vocals

 **sssnake_jae:** he’s very nice

 **sssnake_jae:** he’s like a compassionate asshole but he’s not really an asshole

 **jbutt:** we’re headed for the hotel room now, jae you’re done with the date right?

 **sssnake_jae:** yep!

 **sssnake_jae:** fried chicken for dinner anyone?

 **jbutt:** a collective yes is heard from everyone

 

**exactly what it says on the (sebeun)tin**

**hosh:** hey hoonie

 **hosh:** when you’re done with your date can you let us know?

 **jih00nie:** i’m done :)

 **mingh8o:** woah jihoon’s using smiley faces!!

 **coups:** He. Is. A. Hyung. To. You.

 **hosh:** send us a selfie hoon!

 **jih00nie** sent an [image](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/b9/72/fb/b972fb8e4d9393c4f0a616b7545fafc3--lee.jpg).

 **hjs:** i take that the mic on your shirt means you recorded some songs

 **jih00nie:** yes we did; he’s a great singer

 **boo:** how many times do i have to tell you jihoon semicolons are reserved for english class

 **coups:** He. Is. A. Hyung. To. You.

 **dinosoar:** hyung why are your lips so red

 

**teeny tiny (jihoon and chan)**

**jih00nie:** another twenty packs of gummy bears for you to delete your message?

 **dinosoar:** why do i have to delete it hyung?

 **dinosoar:** it was just a question :(

 **jih00nie:** sorry chan

 **jih00nie:** i can’t answer either of your questions

 **dinosoar:** ten packs for me to delete the message

 **dinosoar:** but only if you tell me why your lips are so red

 **jih00nie:** okay fine

 

**exactly what it says on the (sebeun)tin**

**dinosoar:** _This message was removed._

 **mingh8o:** yeah why are they so red

 **jih00nie:** …

 **jih00nie:** i was playing the clarinet

 

**teeny tiny (jihoon and chan)**

**dinosoar:** well?

 **dinosoar:** why are your lips so red?

 **jih00nie:** i kissed him

 **dinosoar:** who?

 **jih00nie:** youngjae


	13. In-flight Communication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **bambam69:** that goes against yookyeom’s code of privacy and respect
> 
>  **boo:** who’s yookyeom?
> 
>  **bambam69:** yugyeom’s alter ego, reserved for when he’s being the dorkiest dork in the world

**jijae is our otp**

**mingh8o:** gyeom. updates.

 **yu_gayeom:** they. are. still. sitting. next. to. each. other.

 **mingh8o:** what do you mean?? nothing’s changed at all?

 **yu_gayeom:** hao it’s been two minutes

 **boo:** thank god for inflight wifi

 **versoltile:** babe, in this house (or plane??) we do not use the lord’s name in vain

 **boo:** yes jisoo 2.0

_**user:chwehansol (+82 5019 4772)** changed his screen name to **jisoo_2.0**_

 

**one nation under god (josh, vernon)**

**hjs:** what’s going on with your name??

 **jisoo_2.0** seungkwan called me jisoo 2.0 because i told him not to use the lord’s name in vain

 **hjs:** thank god one of you idiots turned out normal and holy

 **jisoo_2.0:** :)

 **jisoo_2.0:** wait hang on you just did the same thing seungkwan did...

 

**jijae is our otp**

**boo:** HAHAHAHA

 **dinosoar:** yugyeom hyung what’s happening

 **yu_gayeom:** i cannot get used to being called hyung

 **boo:** hyung

 **jisoo_2.0:** hyung

 **dinosoar:** hyung

 **bambam69:** GYEOM DID YOU SEE THAT

 **bambam69:** PLEASE SAY YOU SAW THAT

 **bambam69:** I WOULD SCREAM BUT IT’S A PLANE

 **yu_gayeom:** YEE I SAW THAT

 **min9:** ?

 **mingh8o:** what happened?

 **dokyeom:** whatttt

 **yu_gayeom:** so youngjae hyung being the little sunshine he is, said something really funny

 **jisoo_2.0:** tbh one’s a sunshine one’s a storm cloud but that’s beside the point

 **yu_gayeom:** so anyway jihoon hyung laughed really hard and then when he did he put his hand on jae’s thigh

 **yu_gayeom:** and he didn’t move his hand. like he kept it there

 **bambam69:** OH SHIT NOW HOONIE HYUNG IS RUBBING JAE’S THIGH

 **mingh8o:** rubbing as in like moving it up and down a bit after hitting it (because he’s clumsy like that)

 **mingh8o:** or like rubbing as in like dealing with a soft puppy

 **bambam69:** liKE A SOFT PUPPY

 **bambam69:** LIKE HE LAUGHED AND THEN HIT JAE’S THIGH AND THEN KEPT IT THERE AND THEN THEY WERE TALKING BUT AS THEY DID HOONIE HYUNG JUST STARTED STROKING HIS THIGH

 **dokyeom:** they both really are the cutest aren’t they

 **yu_gayeom:** NO ONE MOVE

 **yu_gayeom:** BAM DID YOU SEE THAT

 **bambam69:** I DON’T TRUST MY EYES

 **boo:** what what what happened

 **boo:** record it

 **mingh8o:** blackmail material

 **boo:** blackmail material

 **mingh8o:** ayy high five bro

 **boo:** no

 **mingh8o:** :/

 **mingh8o:** but yeah gyeom record it

 **yu_gayeom:** no

 **bambam69:** that goes against yookyeom’s code of privacy and respect

 **boo:** who’s yookyeom?

 **bambam69:** yugyeom’s alter ego, reserved for when he’s being the dorkiest dork in the world

 **bambam69:** heads up: he’s not gonna leave ‘yookyeom’ once you mention it, until you call him by his full name

 **yu_gayeom:** DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOOKYEOM SAW THROUGH HIS OWN EYES

 **dinosoar:** aren’t you yookyeom, hyung??

 **bambam69:** when he’s yookyeom he refers to himself in third person

 **bambam69:** KIM YUGYEOM

 **yu_gayeom:** yeah?

 **bambam69:** what were you saying about what you saw?

 **yu_gayeom:** oh yeah it was about to get good

 **yu_gayeom:** they were watching a video

 **yu_gayeom:** and then youngjae hyung leaned near jihoon hyung and rubbed his lips on the soft part of hoonie hyung’s ear

 **bambam69:** o___O

 **yu_gayeom:** like a really soft and fluffy way

 **min9:** oh my why didn’t you record it?

 **bambam69:** like i said, yookyeom doesn’t like it

 **yu_gayeom:** and then jae got shy yookyeom thinks and he hid his face on hoonie’s shoulder

 **jisoo_2.0:** kim yugyeom

 **yu_gayeom:** yookyeom is listening

 **jisoo_2.0:** why didn’t it work??

 **bambam69:** caps

 **jisoo_2.0:** KIM YUGYEOM

 **yu_gayeom:** hmm?

 **jisoo_2.0:** anything else that happened?

 **yu_gayeom:** no

 **yu_gayeom:** oh wait

 **yu_gayeom:** jihoonie hyung passed a piece of paper to youngjae and on the top it said in big letters ‘어쩌나' but i can’t see anything else on the sheet

 **jisoo_2.0:** oh yeahhh hyung told me he was writing a song when he showed me the lyrics

 **boo:** you kept that quiet!

 **jisoo_2.0:** i didn’t know that it was important!

 **dokyeom:** let’s give hoon hyung benefit of the doubt. maybe it isn’t important

 **mingh8o:** thanks for the input seokmin

 **mingh8o:** hansol what did he write?

 **jisoo_2.0:** honestly i shouldn’t say because it really isn’t something to share

 **mingh8o:** IT’S A LOVE SONG

 **boo:** at this point, sol, you’ve pretty much told us everything why don’t you just share the song’s contents with us?

 **bambam69:** i just realized that they haven’t confessed yet

 **mingh8o:** IT’S A CONFESSION SONG

 **boo:** c’mon sol give us the lyrics

 **jisoo_2.0** sent a [link](https://colorcodedlyrics.com/2018/07/seventeen-oh-eojjeona).

 **yu_gayeom:** aww

 **bambam69:** he

 **bambam69:** he’s so

 **min9:** so

 **dokyeom:** idk how to say it

 **jisoo_2.0:** romantic

 **boo:** ...cheesy

 **dinosoar:** ‘draw you in my mind’s sketchbook’

 **dinosoar:** ‘i like you so so much’

 **dinosoar:** sounds like a confession song to me

 **boo:** hey chan walk past the two of them and listen to what they’re saying

 **boo:** don’t stand near them but stand close enough to hear them

 **dinosoar:** I THINK HOONIE HYUNG IS SINGING IT TO YOUNGJAE HYUNG

 **dinosoar:** yes yes yes he is

 **dinosoar:** wait lemme go pee real quick

 **min9:** #priorities

 **dinosoar:** stop disturbing me while i’m peeing

 **boo:** a little uncomfortable to think about the fact that chan’s doing his business while texting us at the same time

 **dinosoar:** let me live

 **dinosoar:** ok i’m done i’m on the way back now

 **dinosoar:** HOLY SH*T WHEN I WALKED BACK HOONIE HYUNG CONFESSED AND ASKED YOUNGJAE HYUNG TO BE HIS BOYFRIEND

 **mingh8o:** what did he say?

 

 **min9:** why did it go so quiet so suddenly?

 **dokyeom:** everyone ran out of wifi lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in korean ㅠ can be romanized as yu or yoo and ㄱ can be romanized as g or k 
> 
> that's why 유겸 can be romanized as yugyeom, yoogyeom, yukyeom or yookyeom


	14. When does school start?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **jwang:** ALSO HOW IS MARK AMERICAN-TAIWANESE AND I’M CHINESE BUT MOM AND DAD ARE BOTH KOREAN, AND WE HAVE ONE THAI GRANDCHILD AND TWO KOREAN GRANDCHILDREN??
> 
>  **jwang:** 什麼鬼?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was a mess idk what i was thinking

**seven goddamn idiots again**

**sssnake_jae:** so guys i have some big news

 **sssnake_jae:** jihoon asked me out the other day, and…

 **yu_gayeom:** omg is this what we’ve been waiting for??

 **bambam69:** oh my oh my eeek

 **sssnake_jae:** i said yes

 **yu_gayeom:** WOAH

 **bambam69:** HYUNG WE’RE PROUD OF YOU

 **jyp.jr:** real talk this is the first time I've heard bam use honorifics in reference to youngjae

 **jyp.jr:** youngjae keep impressing us so that we can drill into bam that he needs to use honorifics more

 **bambam69:** yo I have a question

 **bambam69:** why is jinyoung hyung talking to us like he's our dad when he's clearly our mom

 **jyp.jr:** you kids tired jaebum hyung out in France and now he's sick

 **sssnake_jae:** dang now mom has to be dad because dad’s sick

 **tuan_markeu:** hang on if i’m older that jinyoung and jaebum and they’re supposedly the parents of this thing

 **yu_gayeom:** “this thing”

 **tuan_markeu:** AM I GRANDMA?

 **jwang:** and if I'm dating you does that make me grandpa?

 **tuan_markeu:** nah I'm more likely to be feeding pigeons and buying newspapers while you play mahjong and bake cookies for these kids

 **jwang:** yessss tuanxwang grandparents’ mahjong meetups

 **jwang:** WAIT WAIT SHUSH IT DOESNT WORK OUT

 **jwang:** THIS IS WEIRD HOW CAN I BE YOUNGER THAN DAD BUT OLDER THAN MOM WHILE STILL BEING GRANDMA

 **jwang:** ALSO HOW IS MARK AMERICAN-TAIWANESE AND I’M CHINESE BUT MOM AND DAD ARE BOTH KOREAN, AND WE HAVE ONE THAI GRANDCHILD AND TWO KOREAN GRANDCHILDREN??

 **jwang:** 什麼鬼?!

 **tuan_markeu:** HAHAHAHA

 **yu_gayeom:** ?

 **tuan_markeu:** jackson basically just asked ‘what the fuck’ in chinese

 **jwang:** no i didn’t!

 **tuan_markeu:** okok not that intense

 **tuan_markeu:** maybe ‘what the hell’ instead

 **jwang:** ^^^

 **jyp.jr:** are we really gonna have a debate about our ‘family’ heritage?

 **yu_gayeom:** oh no mom/dad is getting mad

 **jyp.jr:** shush yuggie

 **bambam69:** yeah yu-gi-oh 

**yu_gayeom:** i feel so attacced right now

 **jyp.jr:** shut up bam

 **yu_gayeom:** yeah bam :P

 **bambam69:** what, so gyeom gets a ‘shush’ and i get ‘shut up’??

 **jyp.jr:** i miss jaebum hyung so much

 

**jjp**

**jyp.jr:** these kids are so exhausting how do you cope babe

 **jbutt:** why do you think i’m sick right now??

 **jyp.jr:** they’re giving me a whole headache

 **jbutt:** ay welcome to my world

 **jyp.jr:** let’s do this

 **jyp.jr:** want me to go buy you something for lunch?

 **jbutt:** it’s 10 am but thanks for the thought  <3

 **jyp.jr:** i love you babe

 **jbutt:** good luck with the kids

 **jyp.jr:** thanks i’ll need it

 

 **seven goddamn idiots again**

**jyp.jr:** ready for school, idiots?

 **yu_gayeom:** yeah

 **jyp.jr:** of course you are

 **jyp.jr:** what subjects did you choose this year? like excluding english and literature and maths because the school makes us pick those

 **yu_gayeom:** biology, chemistry, history. oh and i’m taking chinese (idk why) as an elective lmao

 **yu_gayeom:** will be able to understand minghao and sicheng’s texts now lmao

 **bambam69:** bio and chem?? sounds tough but manageable. history? sounds exhaustingggg

 **bambam69:** and chinese too?? it’s nothing like korean or japanese or english or thai, it doesn’t have an alphabet

 **sssnake_jae:** mom sounds like a guy our age asking what subjects we chose

 **bambam69:** because he is…?

 **jyp.jr:** shut up youngjae

 **sssnake_jae:** observable fact: yugyeom is mom’s favourite child

 **jyp.jr:** not true, i love everyone equally

 **sssnake_jae:** bs

 **jyp.jr:** yeah real talk gyeom is the most behaved child

 **sssnake_jae:** for real though when does school start?

 **yu_gayeom:** christmas

 **bambam69:** no seriously when does school start?

 **yu_gayeom:** day before kookie’s birthday

 **bambam69:** oh okay thanks babe

 **sssnake_jae:** MOM WHY DO YOU LOVE YUGYEOM THE MOST

 **jyp.jr:** because he’s the most normal

 **yu_gayeom:** ‘most normal’

 **yu_gayeom:** implies that while i’m still not normal i’m a little more normal that bam and youngjae hyung

 **jyp.jr:** mmhm. the fact that you’ve analyzed this like it’s an english essay proves my point.

 **jbutt:** chinese is fun, gyeom

 **bambam69:** DAD IS BACKKKK ARE YOU BETTER DAD

 **jbutt:** and this is why bambam is MY favourite child

 **sssnake_jae:** ;-;

 **tuan_markeu:** and this is why youngjae is our favourite grandchild

 **bambam69:** WHAT

 **yu_gayeom:** YOU GUYS SAID US 97ers WERE YOUR FAVES

 **sssnake_jae:** HA

 **jbutt:** I’VE ONLY BEEN HERE FOR A MINUTE AND WE’RE ALL YELLING

 **jyp.jr:** y’all stop yelling plz

 **JWANG:** IT DOESN’T ADD UP HOW DID WE GET ONE THAI GRANDCHILD AND TWO KOREAN GRANDCHILDREN

 **jyp.jr:** …

 **tuan_markeu:** …

 **jbutt:** ...

 **sssnake_jae:** … 

**bambam69:** …

 **yu_gayeom:** 什麼鬼?

 **tuan_markeu:** jeez you learn fast gyeom

 **tuan_markeu:** hang on jackson

 **tuan_markeu:** babe even your username is yelling what even

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> real talk i have a chat in my phone called 'when does school start'


	15. A Kind of Shitty Day for Gyeom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **sssnake_jae:** THAT MEANS THEY’RE GONNA MARRY EACH OTHER
> 
> **jwang:** AWW OH MY GOSH
> 
> **tuan_markeu:** alright, two fangirls that come with the package, free of charge, consult your physician before usage, batteries not included

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for the long wait but im back!!
> 
> and also i think i have an idea of when and how this will end
> 
> but i'm sure that one day i'll miss the gang and come back to writing volume 2 of this

**seven goddamn idiots again?**

**jbutt:** im sorry gyeomie

**yu_gayeom:** it’s fine hyung

**yu_gayeom:** don’t worry

**bambam69:** what did dad do this time

**jbutt:** i passed my cold to him ;-;

**bambam69:** smh hyung

**jbutt:** aren’t you supposed to be at school, mr. bhuwakul?

 

**bambam69:** -sweats nervously-

**sssnake_jae:** gyeom you okay?

**yu_gayeom:** i’m fine thank you hyung  <3

 

**yu_gayeom, sh_jung:**

**yu_gayeom:** mom i’m sick

**Server Notice:** The user that you are trying to contact can’t be reached right now. Please contact me if you believe that this is in error. ~Jimin

 

**two out of seven goddamn idiots (yugbam)**

**yu_gayeom:** i think my mom blocked me 

 

**cutie pies (jimin, yugyeom)**

**yu_gayeom:** hyung!!

**j1min:** gyeom!!

**j1min:** what’s up?

**yu_gayeom:** how do i know if someone blocked me?

**j1min:** you received the server error message?

**yu_gayeom:** yes…?

**j1min:** do you think there was a chance that said person may have had a reason to block you?

**yu_gayeom:** maybe?? it was my mom

**yu_gayeom:** hyung are you allowed to check?

**j1min:** only if you want to 

**yu_gayeom:** yes hyung

**yu_gayeom:** please

**yu_gayeom:** please do it

**j1min:** im sorry gyeom

**yu_gayeom:** i was...blocked?

**j1min:** there is no easy way to say it

**j1min:** yes, sweetie, you were blocked

**j1min:** im so sorry gyeomie

 

**mom and his child (jinyoung and yugyeom)**

**yu_gayeom:** hyung

**yu_gayeom:** are you busy right now?

**jyp.jr:** kind of. everything okay? do you want me to stop by for lunch?

**yu_gayeom:** no it’s just that my mom

**yu_gayeom:** she blocked me

**jyp.jr:** i’m so sorry gyeom are you ok??

**yu_gayeom:** can you be my mom

**jyp.jr:** sure thing

**jyp.jr:** and i think bam’s mom would be more than glad to adopt you too

 

_12:17…_

**seven goddamn idiots again?**

**yu_gayeom:** fuck me over my mother blocked me 

**bambam69:** shit babe

**bambam69:** it’s gonna be fine, my mom wants to adopt you anyway

**sssnake_jae:** gyeomie ;-; us hyungs will be your six adoptive moms and bambam’s mom can be your seventh mom

**sssnake_jae:** you got7 moms

**sssnake_jae:** THAT’S SO SOFT AND PURE HELP ME

**bambam69:** wait but doesn’t that mean we’d technically be brothers??

**bambam69:** INCEST AIN’T WINCEST Y’ALL

**yu_gayeom:** maybe we can just be blood mother-child instead

**yu_gayeom:** like how blood brothers touch their wounds on their fingers together

**jbutt:** gyeom that’s not hygienic

**bambam69:** how about she’s the super kind mother-in-law

**bambam69:** i mean, eventually she’ll become your mother-in-law

**sssnake_jae:** AWWWW THEY’RE GONNA GET MARRIED AND THEY’RE GONNA HAVE BEAUTIFUL BABIES TOGETHER

**bambam69:** …

**tuan_markeu:** seriously these two bbs have the purest relationship ever, with a personal fangirl that comes with it as well

**jwang:** WHAT DID I MISS YOUNGJAE

**sssnake_jae:** BAMBAM SAID HIS MOM WILL EVENTUALLY BECOME GYEOM’S MOTHER-IN-LAW

**sssnake_jae:** THAT MEANS THEY’RE GONNA MARRY EACH OTHER

**jwang:** AWW OH MY GOSH

**tuan_markeu:** alright, two fangirls that come with the package, free of charge, consult your physician before usage, batteries not included

**sssnake_jae:** THEY’RE SO CUTE TOGETHER THIS IS SO SOFT I GOTTA GO GET COFFEE

**JWANG:** HOLD UP YOUNGJAE SINCE WHEN DID YOU START DRINKING COFFEE

**sssnake_jae:** SINCE JIHOONIE INTRODUCED IT TO ME BUT AHH YUGBAM AHHH

**JWANG:** IKR THEY’RE GONNA GROW OLD TOGETHER AND GO TO THE PARK TO FEED BIRDS AND THAT SHIT

**sssnake_jae:** ALRIGHT BYE I NEED TO MEET HOONIE

**tuan_markeu:** babe

**JWANG:** YEAH?

**tuan_markeu:** babe your username

**tuan_markeu:** it’s doing that thing again

**jwang:** oh shit yeah

 

**coffee boiiis (jihoon, youngjae)**

**jih00nie:** how’s the best, sweetest person to walk this planet?

**sssnake_jae:** idk how are you?

**jih00nie:** fuck you’re so sweet i love you

**sssnake_jae:** i love you too babe

**sssnake_jae:** wanna go for a coffee and a walk? the weather’s getting cooler :)

**jih00nie:** sure!

**sssnake_jae:** wanna take coco for a walk too?

**jih00nie:** UWU YES

 

**96, 69, who cares?**

**wonwoohoo:** hey guys let’s go to the movies now

**jih00nie:** sorry can’t

**jih00nie:** i’m going for a walkie with youngjae and coco

**hosh:** ‘walkie’

**hosh:** when are you gonna admit that you’re in love and that love is changing you

**jih00nie:** i thought i already did

**joo(f)n:** no…?

**jih00nie:** neither seungkwan nor minghao told you guys?? mingyu didn’t even tell you wonu?

**wonwoohoo:** no mingyu didn’t tell me anything

**jih00nie:** oof i guess i just told you then

**joo(f)n:** hey oof is my thing

 

**teeny tiny (jihoon and chan)**

**jih00nie:** chan

**dinosoar:** hyung

**jih00nie:** tell the 97ers and 98ers that im disappointed in them for not telling 95 and 96 about youngjae and me

**jih00nie:** im not disappointed in you

**jih00nie:** but seungkwan made a promise to ensure that any tea would be spilled asap

 

**seven goddamn idiots again?**

**yu_gayeom:** i love you all so much from the bottom of my heart

**yu_gayeom:** seriously you guys are so supportive i love you all

**bambam69:** we love you too gyeom

**jyp.jr:** gyeom you still want the headache meds?

**yu_gayeom:** im okay hyung thank you though

**jyp.jr:** ok good

**bambam69:** i take that you’re not swimming tomorrow then in the swimming gala?

**sssnake_jae:** oh yeah alpha fishie is sick

**jbutt:** alpha fishie??

**sssnake_jae:** gyeom when he’s being gyeom in swim training

**yu_gayeom:** i am swimming

**yu_gayeom:** who else is gonna do freestyle and butterfly and backstroke

**bambam69:** oh right just remembered

**bambam69:** he protecc

**bambam69:** he attacc

**bambam69:** but he also gets house points for swimming freestyle butterfly and the one done on your bacc


	16. Your wish, Yogurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **yu_gayeom:** it would be great if my mom contacted me though
> 
>  **yu_gayeom:** won’t happen though
> 
>  **jbutt:** we’ll figure it out gyeom
> 
>  **sssnake_jae:** you’ll have a great birthday tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello all it's someone's birthday tomorrow hmm i wonder who
> 
> the last chapter will go up in two hours and 40 minutes (as i write this, anyway). so that'll be 12:00 KST, Saturday 17th November, 2018. 
> 
> see you then!

**seven goddamn idiots again?**

**bambam69:** so

 **bambam69:** important matters to discuss

 **bambam69:** gyeom

 **bambam69:** what do you want for your birthday

 **jyp.jr:** a lil late, given that his birthday is TOMORROW

 **bambam69:** anyway

 **bambam69:** what u want

 **jbutt:** it's 10 at night, bam. you really expect shops to be open?

 **sssnake_jae:** BUY HIM YOGURT

 **bambam69:** HES ALLERGIC HE GETS RASHES

 **yu_gayeom:** wouldn't mind yogurt tbh

 **tuan_markeu:** I love how gyeom just disregards the fact that his arms bleed every time he eats himself

 **tuan_markeu:** oKAY THAT SOUNDED WAY BETTER IN MY HEAD IM NEVER SAYING ANYTHIMG AGAIN

 **bambam69:** gyeom what do you want

 **yu_gayeom:** you texted me first man

 **bambam69:** riGHT

 **jwang:** : OMG HAHHAAH

 **bambam69:** Gyeom

 **jyp.jr:** do you like chocolate cake or vanilla cake

 **bambam69:** not my question but ok

 **jyp.jr:** what is your question

 **yu_gayeom:** chocolate but it’s fine you don’t need to get me anything

 **bambam69:** gyeom what do you want for your birthday

 **yu_gayeom:** nothing, really

 **yu_gayeom:** it would be great if my mom contacted me though

 **yu_gayeom:** won’t happen though

 **jbutt:** we’ll figure it out gyeom

 **sssnake_jae:** you’ll have a great birthday tomorrow

 

**97ers minus gyeom**

**bambam69:** so guys i’ve created this chat because it’s gyeom’s birthday tomorrow

 **yoonohwho:** sweet, what are you getting him?

 **bambam69:** he’s getting a new laptop because he left it at his parents’ house and they won’t let him in there

 **bambam69:** the six of us pooled our cash together and my mom gave funds to make up for what we couldn’t afford

 **kookie0901:** you guys are awesome

 **mingh8o:** our sweet maknae’s turning 15

 **bambam69:** so do you think you guys (and your friends) could wish him happy birthday tomorrow? just a ‘happy birthday gyeom’ is fine thanks guys

 **dokyeom:** of courseeeee

 **min9:** i feel bad that we’re not giving him more though

 **bambam69:** basically his mom blocked him and we don’t think she’ll wish him

 **kookie0901:** let’s do this my doods

 

**exactly what it says on the (sebeun)tin**

**jih00nie:** hey guys youngjae just asked me to tell you guys

 **jih00nie:** bambam might’ve told the 87s

 **mingh8o:** hey i know we’re older than the maknae line but we’re not that old

 **jih00nie:** *97s

 **jih00nie:** it’s gyeom’s birthday tomorrow and his mom won’t wish him because she’s homophobic so please wish him!!

 **coups:** ok!!

 

**d4nc3r5**

**j1min:** hyungssssss

 **j1min:** it’s kookie’s friend yugyeom’s birthday tomorrow but his mom won’t wish him because she’s homophobic

 **j1min:** can you wish him please?

 **t43m1n:** okie

 **kaiiii:** sure

 **sunguwun:** no problemo

 

**mom and child**

**bambam69:** mom

 **bambam69:** yugyeom’s birthday is tomorrow but his mom is homophobic so she hasn’t contacted him

 **bambam69:** do you think you could take that role on instead

 **qoaqoadmldjaak:** of course sweetie

 

**seven goddamn idiots again?**

**bambam69:** five minutes until midnight

_Five minutes later…_

**bambam69:** happy birthday gyeomie!! we love you so so so much and have a good day  <333

 **jbutt:** happy 15th birthday maknaeeeee

 **jwang:** YOU’RE ONE YEAR FURTHER AWAY FROM YOUR BIRTH

 **tuan_markeu:** happy birthday grandchild!!

 **jyp.jr:** happy birthday ‘son’ :D

 **sssnake_jae:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUGYEOMMIE

 **yu_gayeom:** thank you all  <3 i love you and i haven’t regretted being friends with you guys, ever. thank you so much

_About ten minutes later…_

_Narration: Yugyeom picked his phone up after getting a glass of water. On his phone, there were too many messages to even count…_


	17. Happy Birthday, Yogurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **literally everyone:** happy birthday yugyeom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> read the bottom if you want to:)
> 
> I LOVE YOU ALL

**beyOnD tHe sCeNe+gyeom**

**yu_gayeom:** what’s this??

 **kookie0901:** happy birthday bro!!

 **j1min:** happy birthday yugyeom uwu  <3

 **lilmeowmeow:** happy birthday yugyeom:)

 **namjoooooon:** happy birthday! have a good dayyy

 **taehyvng:** happy birthday gyeom!

 **imyourhope:** happy birthday yugyeom :D

 **worldwidehandsome:** happy birthday yugyeom

 **yu_gayeom:** thank youuuu i love you guys  <3

 

**neo cult tech +yugyeom**

**yu_gayeom:** ?

 **tae1:** happy birthday gyeomie!!

 **jhonny:** happy birthday :DDD

 **yu_gayeom:** love your name hyung

 **y(eet)uta:** happy birthday boiiii

 **tae2:** happy birthdayyyy

 **we_(do)young:** happy birthday woohoo

 **yoonohwho:** happy birthday my man

 **zeus:** happy birthday  <333

 **w1nw1n:** happy birthday brooooooo

 **10:** happy birthday!!1!1!

 **kunkunkun:** happy birthdayyyy

 **i_just_wanna_be_part_of_the_dreamies:** congrats on being born 15 years ago!!

 **yu_gayeom:** ahahahha you’d get along great w jackson hyung

 **i_just_wanna_be_part_of_the_dreamies:** he wants to hang out with meee

 **yu_gayeom:** anyway thanks guys, i’m flattered

 **lee_markeu:** woah who said we’re done here 

**lee_markeu:** us dreamies gotta do our thing

 **i_just_wanna_be_part_of_the_dreamies:** ;-;

 **yu_gayeom:** omg does tuan_markeu hyung know you exist

 **lee_markeu:** probably lol

 **lee_markeu:** anyway happy birthday yugyeom hyung!!

 **moominswife:** happy birthday hyung:)

 **i_love_jaemin:** happy birthday hyung!!

 **fullsun:** happy birthday!hyung

 **i_love_me_too:** happy birthday yugyeom hyung :D

 **bbyjisung:** happy birthday hyung uwu

 **tae2:** that should be all of us right?

 **lee_markeu:** hang on no one of us is missing

 **lelelelele:** hyung!! happy birthday

 **lee_markeu:** ok that’s all of us

 **smoldejun:** ha you thought

 **motherhen(dery):** we’re here

 **schafschaf:** we’re queer

 **smoldejun:** we’re gonna wish yugyeom hyung a happy birthday

 **schafschaf:** happy birthday, hyung!

 **motherhen(dery):** happy birthday hyung  <3

 **smoldejun:** happy birthday yugyeom hyung:)

 **tae2:** ok that’s definitely all of us

 **yu_gayeom:** oh my gosh thank you all so much!! I love you

 **yu_gayeom:** no offense but was this staged?

 **lee_markeu:** only the last part 

**smoldejun:** kinda took advantage of the fact that sicheng hyung, as admin of nct vision’s group chat, forgot that we still exist 

**smoldejun:** when it came to asking if it was all of us, he didn’t contradict

 **w1nw1n:** sorry

 **tae1:** honestly they’re all immature kids but on behalf us all happy birthday gyeom

 **yu_gayeom:** AHHH THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH

 

**five idiots + happy birthday gyeom!!**

**yu_gayeom:** omg sicheng and yoonoh’s friends just texted me and i did not know there were so many of them

 **yu_gayeom:** sorry wrong group

 **yu_gayeom:** hang on what’s this

 **t43m1n:** happy birthday gyeomie

 **leedubu:** happy birthday uwu uwu uwu

 **kimjjong:** happy birthday yugyeom!!

 **keybum:** happy birthday yugyeom ;)

 **dibidibidis:** happy birthday gyeom :)))

 **yu_gayeom:** omg thank you guys so much seriously ily  <3

 

**let oh sehun live and happy birthday gyeom**

**yu_gayeom:** how many people know it’s my birthday

 **yu_gayeom:** sorry wrong chat

 **kaiiii:** jungkook told jimin and jimin told me so i told everyone here

 **bacon:** take that you’re having a good day, gyeom? :D

 **kaiiii:** happy birthday yugyeommm

 **yeolie:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY

 **suhorang:** happy birthday yugyeom!!

 **shawty_imma_slap_y’all:** happy birthday yugyeom-ah

 **kyungdoo:** happy birthday yugyeom :)

 **jongdaedae:** happy birthday lovely child

 **baozi:** happy birthday uwu

 **lays_crisps:** happy birthday yugyeom!  <3

 **yu_gayeom:** aww thank you thank you thank you

 **suhorang:** heard that the number of nct kids left you a little surprised?

 **yu_gayeom:** yeah haha

 **suhorang:** anyway have a good day gyeom!!

 **yu_gayeom:** thank you all

 

**new east+yugyeom**

**yu_gayeom:** omg

 **minhyunieeee:** happy birthday yugyeom!!

 **theotherkimjonghyun:** happy birthday yugyeom~~

 **kyloren:** happy birthday gyeom :))))

 **arondawo:** happy birthday yugyeom! have a good day

 **baekhohohomerrychristmas:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUGYEOM

 **yu_gayeom:** thank you so much ily!!

 

**i would like to one**

**yu_gayeom:** loving this group name

 **minhyunieeee:** happy birthday gyeom, ik i already said it but anyway have a great day

 **oldmanjisung:** happy birthday yugyeom!

 **kangeuiuiuiofsfjdiogeon:** happy birthday gyeom~~~~~

 **guanlinbaby:** happy birthday yugyeom-ah~ maknaes unite lol

 **baejin:** happy birthday yugyeom :)

 **sunguwun:** happy birthday yugyeom ;D

 **uwujin:** happy birthday yugyeom bro

 **jeojang_boi:** happy birthday!! ㄴㄱ ;)

 **onggggg:** happy birthday gyeomie!!

 **daehwiiwhead:** happy birthday yugyeom yayy

 **yu_gayeom:** oh my gosh thank you guys so much

 

 **we hot we shot we hotshot**

**sunguwun:** already said but happy birthday yg boi

 **yu_gayeom:** aww thank youuu

 **t1m0t30:** happy birthday yugyeom!!

 **jLInhyLIk:** happy birthday gyeom hehe

 **t43hyun:** happy birthday yugyeommie

 **h0jung:** happy birthday king yg!!1!1!

 **y00ns4n:** happy birthday yugyeom :D

 **yu_gayeom:** i can’t breathe thank you so so so much

 

**exactly what it says on the (sebeun)tin:**

**jih00nie:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUGYEOM!!

 **boo:** this is the most excited i’ve ever seen jihoon

 **coups:** that’s jihoon-hyung to you

 **boo:** okok

 **boo:** ANYWAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUGYEOM HYUNG

 **hannie:** happy birthday yugyeom!! have a great day child

 **dokyeom:** happy birthday gyeom  <3

 **hjs:** happy birthdayyyyy yugyeom

 **joo(f)n:** happy birthday yugyeom:))

 **dinosoar:** happy birthday hyung!! Uwu

 **hosh:** happy birthday yugyeom~~

 **mingh8o:** #happyyugyeomday

 **coups:** happy birthday yugyeommie!

 **jisoo_2.0:** happy birthday hyung have a good day:)

 **wonwoohoo:** happy birthday yugyeom you’re awesome live life awesomely

 **min9:** happy birthday my ultimate bro

 **yu_gayeom:** omg im in tears legit thank you so much guys

 

**seven goddamn idiots again?**

**yu_gayeom:** oml thank you so much guys i love you lots and i pray every day that you’re all happy in life every day take care

 **bambam69:** you’re welcome

 **jyp.jr:** no prob

 **jbutt:** sure

 **jwang:** of course gyeom

 **sssnake_jae:** it’s cool gyeom

 **tuan_markeu:** no big deal gyeom

 **bambam69:** sorry that not many people wished you but yeahhh

 **yu_gayeom:** bam are you kidding 80 people did and @dglrd is tired from writing happy birthday

 **yu_gayeom:** but fuck

 **yu_gayeom:** thank you so much, guys ily from the bottom of my heart and im crying right now

 **jyp.jr:** vanilla cake right gyeom?

 **yu_gayeom:** yes thank you hyung you really didn’t need to ily

 **sssnake_jae:** gyeom

 **yu_gayeom:** yes hyung

 **sssnake_jae:** if you were bi would you be yu_biyeom

 **yu_gayeom:** hmm good question i’m glad im gay then:)

 **jyp.jr:** he’s drunk btw, gyeom

 **jyp.jr:** he’s recovering from the fire drill earlier

 **tuan_markeu:** you know earlier jackson was the reason behind the evacuation

 **jbutt:** wait what i thought it was just a surprise drill

 **tuan_markeu:** no he was trying to fry noodles but he used high flame and a shit ton of oil so the food tech room caught fire

 **tuan_markeu:** luckily, he threw a fire extinguisher at it and the fire died

 **tuan_markeu:** but not before the smoke detector went off

 **jyp.jr:** smh jackson

 **yu_gayeom:** oof seriously??

 **yu_gayeom:** seriously i love you guys so much

 **yu_gayeom:** thank you for everything, you know? im just so thankful for all of you for always being by my side and making this the best birthday ever

 **jyp.jr:** he’s drunk too the day barely started and he’s so sentimental already

 **yu_gayeom:** i’m not drunk

 **sssnake_jae:** that’s what a drunk person would say

 **yu_gayeom:** says the drunk person

 **sssnake_jae:** im not drunk

 **sssnake_jae:** gyeom are you leaving the chat?? don’t leave

 **bambam69:** cries in potato

 **yu_gayeom:** im not leaving don’t worry

 **yu_gayeom:** im just sentimental right now

 **bambam69:** uwu soft 

**yu_gayeom:** and tired

 **yu_gayeom:** i’ll see you tomorrow morning by the lobby? looking forward to the barbecue:) i’m gonna sleep now

 **bambam69:** wait no don’t go yet

 **bambam69:** one last thing before you sleep

 

**two out of seven goddamn idiots**

**yu_gayeom:** i love you babe

 **bambam69:** i love you too

 **yu_gayeom:** thank you so much for adding me here and organizing everything

 **bambam69:** you’re not leaving the group chat right?

 **bambam69:** are you?

 **yu_gayeom:** no of course not

 **yu_gayeom:** i’m just really happy that you did this

 **yu_gayeom:** thank you bam i love you so much

 **bambam69:** i love you too  <3

 **bambam69:** i have one more surprise for you too

 

**qoaqoadmldjaak, yu_gayeom**

**qoaqoadmldjaak:** gyeom?

 **yu_gayeom:** auntie~~

 **qoaqoadmldjaak:** happy birthday sweetie

 **yu_gayeom:** you too!!

 

**two out of seven goddamn idiots**

**yu_gayeom:** fuck fuck fuck

 **yu_gayeom:** your mom just wished me happy birthday and i said you too

 **bambam69:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

 **yu_gayeom:** what do i do

 **bambam69:** carry on 

**bambam69:** carry on 

**bambam69:** as if nothing really matters

 **yu_gayeom:** babe stop singing bohemian rhapsody i genuinely need help i’ve just told your mom ‘happy birthday’ and it’s not her birthday

 **bambam69:** it’s ok gyeom just talk to her like you would with a loving and caring mom

 **yu_gayeom:** okok thanks

 **bambam69:** no prob

 **bambam69:** i’m gonna sleep now, okay? see you in the lobby tomorrow morning! can’t wait for the barbecue:)

 **yu_gayeom:** okay! i love you so much  <3

 **bambam69:** love you too babe!!  <3

 

**qoaqoadmldjaak, yu_gayeom**

**qoaqoadmldjaak:** oh, yugz, you’re so funny

 **yu_gayeom:** omg i’m so sorry that wasn’t intended

 **qoaqoadmldjaak:** it’s fine

 **yu_gayeom:** what i meant to say, was thank you so much

 **qoaqoadmldjaak:** of course, gyeom

 **qoaqoadmldjaak:** it’s no problem at all

 **qoaqoadmldjaak:** anyway, what drinks do you want for tomorrow?

 **yu_gayeom:** sojuuuu

 **qoaqoadmldjaak:** you are 15, gyeom. no. 

**qoaqoadmldjaak:** i’m seeing you guys at the place at eleven, right?

 **yu_gayeom:** yes:)

 **qoaqoadmldjaak:** well then

 **qoaqoadmldjaak:** i’ll wish you in person when i see you, but you should sleep now for later

 **qoaqoadmldjaak:** happy birthday, gyeom. i love you like a son

 **qoaqoadmldjaak:** no. you are my son

 **qoaqoadmldjaak:** happy birthday my son. i love you so much

 **yu_gayeom:** thank you

 **yu_gayeom:** i love you too

 **yu_gayeom:** mom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok let's start with the group chat names and the groups that match with it
> 
> beyOnd tHe sCeNe is BTS  
> neo cult tech is NCT (gosh it was a pain in the neck to write their birthday wishes)  
> five idiots is SHINee  
> let oh sehun live is EXO  
> new east is NU'EST  
> i would like to one is Wanna One (still can't stop laughing at my own joke oof)  
> we hot we shot we hotshot is HOTSHOT  
> Exactly what it says on the (sebeun)tin is SEVENTEEN
> 
> And...it’s finished. The fic is done.
> 
> Let me start by saying, happy birthday Yugyeom!! I love you so much and I hope you have a great day. Enjoy being 21! <3
> 
> Explanation: Bambam's mum's name is what if you wrote 뱀뱀 의 엄마 with all the keys in the same position but using the English keyboard so q for English is ㅂ and o is ㅐ etc.
> 
> Onto the sentimentalism...
> 
> Thank you so so so so so much for reading! I’m grateful for every one of you reading this. I started this in March and eight months later, we’re here. 
> 
> Gosh, I can’t begin to explain how thankful I am. Really. Thank you for reading this. Everything here has made me so happy. I love you all so much, and I just want you guys to know that I appreciate everything.
> 
> This next paragraph is me panicking two hours ago... 
> 
> As I wrote this paragraph, two hours ahead of when it actually was going to go online, Ao3/my wifi is down and I’m on a Google Doc, half panicking half praying that this will work when I post this...if this is late I’m really sorry...I wish it could be better but my timing is absolutely crap and of course Ao3 will go down when I don’t want it to.
> 
> As you can see, it’s not late :)
> 
> I am really so so so thankful for all of you. In particular, thank you so so so so so so much Maddie Chapman, Luke aka stinkyegg and Lis aka shyguk - thank you for being so sweet and supportive throughout the writing of this. I can’t express how much I love you guys.
> 
> And in order to fill the empty hole left by the completion of this fic, I’m working on a SHINee fic and a Seventeen fic!! So yeah they’ll be out soon if I remember to post it…
> 
> Anyway, I just want to say one last thank you for everything! I love each and every one of you always; remember that.
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH! I LOVE YOU AND HAVE A GOOD DAY/NIGHT!
> 
> With love,
> 
> Tay/TC/dglrd


End file.
